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Bono Knocks On Heaven’s Door With Giant Erection

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ROCK GOD Bono

Are we witnessing the dawn of Bonotheism? Everywhere you look, it seems the band and its saintly frontman are climbing to new heights—
both spiritually and literally.

First, there’s the 394-foot “U2 Tower.” Planned for completion in 2008, the corkscrew-shaped structure will be the tallest building in Ireland and house the band’s recording studio, in addition to luxury two- and three-bedroom duplexes. An express elevator will shuttle the band directly to their penthouse cheese-pop laboratory. Sir Bono’s explanation for what’s clearly the world’s largest ego ramp: “People want to see an entrepreneurial spirit.”

Now comes word from the BBC that Lincoln’s St. Swithin’s Church in England will host the first ever “U2-charist” ceremony in May.

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