Bob Novak Tries To Kill Again

DRIVE FRIENDLY Novak

You know what is impossible anymore? Trying to run down someone on the streets of D.C. without a Politico reporter being right there as the cops have you all trussed up. This is what happened to long-time syndicated columnist, father of the Swift Boat Kerry-smear operation’s leader, and actual lizard Robert Novak this morning. Apparently he had no idea that he ran someone over in his little black Corvette—most likely because the pedestrian was motionless on the ground. They’re so hard to see like that! According to one person on the scene, a bicyclist had to jump on his windshield to get him to stop driving off. Novak has always been extremely decisive. Once he decides to do something, there’s just no stopping him.

UPDATE: “Novak was listening to NPR when the accident occurred, TMZ.com reported, and apparently did not hear the impact.” There is so much in that sentence which makes our heads spin that we do not know where to start.