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Barack Claims Nomination, Coveted Yoda Endorsement


Taking it: Barack Obama won Montana and locked up the 2,118 delegates needed to secure the nomination yesterday, telling supporters “Tonight, we mark the end of one historic journey with the beginning of another… I will be the Democratic nominee for president of the United States.” Hillary Clinton, who took South Dakota, did not concede…yet.

A new hope: Star Wars creator/destroyer George Lucas calls Obama “a hero in the making.”

STD free!: Olympic organizers say suspected terrorists, subversives, and people with sexually transmitted diseases will not be allowed into China for the Olympic games. ScarJo totally in the clear.

OH, MAN, IS THERE EVER MORE: Escaping the British; healthy wine, unhealthy Wino!

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