Barack Scores a Wet-Willy on Hillary

NEW KID ON THE BLOCK Barack(Photo: Getty Images)

• Playground taunts: Issuing a jovial jab at Hillary Clinton and her crack team that tried to use his childhood ambitions against him, Barack Obama basks in his victory: "This feels good. It's just like I imagined it when I was talking to my kindergarten teacher."

• In bed with the enemy: Blowhard Glenn Beck grabs a camcorder and brings us all into the terrible hell that is his unshaven, unclean body reclining in bed—oh, and his botched surgery and the medical crusade it's sent him on.

• Divorce Watch: Though Bill Clinton's ruddy visage was prominently featured over his wife's shoulder during her post-caucus comments, Hillary mentioned her hubby's name nary a once.

• Saving on dry-cleaning bills: Following its tried and true reality TV model, ABC eliminates Duncan Hunter, Dennis Kucinich, and Mike Gravel from its prime-time presidential debates Saturday night.

• Not biting: Cross-dressing pugilist Oscar De la Hoya is reportedly not interested in meeting his stripper accuser in court to do battle over the $100 million she's seeking as damages for destroying her good and kinky rep. Weird!