• Senate Fights, Vol. 1: Alabama Republican State Senator Charles Bishop goes all Preston Brooks on Democrat Lowell Barron after getting called a “son of a bitch.”

• Paris Watch: Rumor has it that Paris‘s early release from jail might be due to her suicidal tendencies, or maybe it was the lack of cupcakes. Either way, she might be headed back.

• Dr. McFired: Rehabbed homophobe Isaiah Washington gets canned by Grey’s Anatomy and channels Howard Beale in his response to the network.

• More Rosie: NBC has a fever, and the only prescription is more Rosie O’Donnell.

• It’s his life: Bon Jovi ax-wielder Richie Sambora is headed to a “treatment facility” where flabby, washed-up rockers presumably go to make amends or knit yarn “god’s eyes” or something.