Deal Yourself In! Opening Ante Is 700 Billion Dollars

Some days the news cycle vomits up so much information that there isn’t a big enough bucket with which to clean it all up. Let us wring out the information mop for you. Here’s what’s happening!

• We may be near a deal on the bailout! That’s especially good news for John McCain because it’ll give him the perfect excuse to back down from his “suspended campaign” stunt and attend the debates!
• Speaking of debates: Sarah Palin doesn’t have to reveal her personal finance records until the day after her debate with Joe Biden. So save those questions about the upkeep on the tanning bed for later!
Jobless claims are at a seven-year high.
• Are we at war with Pakistan yet? ‘Cause their army is firing on our helicopters.
Johnny Depp will star in yet another pirate movie that I’m not going to see.
• “Republican presidential nominee John McCain has not introduced any banking or housing bills in the 110th Congress, while Democratic rival Barack Obama has proposed five.”

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