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Angelina Jolie, Space Shark Princess

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The Angeline Jolie Vanity Fair (the third in a series, really!) is arriving in mailboxes today, with a big weighty sigh. The article, which accompanies the pictures, makes a few assertions. (Much has been made already of the article’s thesis, which is that her roles then come to invade her life—the reverse of Method acting, someone said. Or maybe that was just all the photo styling.) So the article dwells, first, rather grossly on the process of being inseminated by Brad Pitt, which is like “being impregnated by a future man or a star child.” What is “star child”? I wonder if most people’s Pitt fantasies involve reproduction. Quite possibly, yes. In another paragraph, Jolie is a shark, a bunch of flowers, a princess and a product. We find that her relationship with her father is like Syria and Israel! There is also an actually moving section where she talks about the death of her mother. And yet. Later she meets a starstruck fan in a sensible pantsuit! The woman is not Hillary Clinton, which would have been awesome.

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