GOP Rallies ‘Round Gonz

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STAY OF EXECUTION Gonzalez

Rejected: GOP senators block a no-confidence vote on Alberto Gonzales, preventing the world from discovering what it already knows.

PETA targets Paris: Now that she’s stopped acting dumb, will Paris Hilton speak out for other small-brained creatures trapped behind bars? PETA thinks so.

Escape to New York: A prisoner accused of planning to kidnap David Letterman‘s baby is on the lam. No worries yet, Dave: It’s a 34-hour drive.

He’d rather not: Peeking his well-coiffed ‘do out of obscurity for just a moment, Dan Rather says that Katie Couric‘s ascent to CBS Evening News anchor was an attempt to “dumb it down—tart it up.” Now back into your hole, Rather!

Germans vs. Rappers: Super producer Timbaland is arrested in Germany after a bar brawl. The other guy’s in the hospital. Rappers take this round.

Abuse of power: FBI head Robert Mueller likes to cruise the skies in a jet meant for counterterrorism. Former directors have stuck to flying on commercial flights or in a Cessna.

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