• Murder, ironically, not the case: Snoop Dogg, a former murder defendant and cocaine and gun con, gets busted for some of that milf weed at Bob Hope airport after the hip-hop cops (the ones likely assigned to his permanent detail) cite him for a “vehicle code” violation and search his whip. AP reports that cops also found a gun.
• Reading is fundamental, detrimental: George Captain Macacapants Allen (R-VA) strikes back at his Democratic Senate challenger Jim Webb with a press release citing the following passages from Webb’s 2001 novel, Lost Soldiers, (current Amazon rank: 79,852), about a grizzled Marine in Vietnam 25 years after the end of the war:
“A shirtless man walked toward them along a mud pathway. His muscles were young and hard, but his face was devastated with wrinkles. His eyes were so red that they appeared to be burned by fire. A naked boy ran happily toward him from a little plot of dirt. The man grabbed his young son in his arms, turned him upside down, and put the boy’s penis in his mouth.”
And this passage from Webb’s 1991 book, Something to Die For (current Amazon rank: 43,869):
“Fogarty … watch[ed] a naked young stripper do the splits over a banana. She stood back up, her face smiling proudly and her round breasts glistening from a spotlight in the dim bar, and left the banana on the bar, cut in four equal sections by the muscles of her vagina.
Other Webb classics include A Sense of Honor and A Country Such as This, both rich with steamy moments.
• Morning punditry: Sharp-witted Camille Paglia sounds off on the Clintons, Foley, Al Franken (“a voice like molasses and never a fresh idea”), and worries out loud about Bush‘s mental state, saying, “There was this seething quality to his speech that worried me and that seemed to signal that something major is being planned—perhaps another military incursion.”
• Madonna on Oprah: Watch it before Harpo unleashes its full legal attack and the clips get yanked!
• YouTube, don’t let us down!: Reuters reports that World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz “bumped and wriggled to an African beat” during an appearance in Washington to promote the fight against Malaria. But that’s not all. Wolfowitz was joined onstage by South African singer Yvonne Chaka Chaka, South African Ambassador Barbara Masekela, and former MPAA president Jack Valenti, whom Reuters describes as “an influential lobbyist and anti-malaria activist.” No word on how slick Wolfowitz’s hair looked.
• German soldiers, they’re just like U.S.: Two German soldiers in Iraq have been suspended after incriminating photos surfaced: one showing the soldiers posing with a human skull on the hood of a vehicle, and another with the skull positioned near a soldier’s wagging genitals.