Mel B's Suicide Hell: Singer Tried To Take Own Life Over Guilt Of Bullying Child
Nov. 2 2018, Updated 12:54 p.m. ET
Mel B tried to kill herself at 14 after she was plagued with guilt over bullying a child with disability, RadarOnline.com can exclusively reveal.
The ex-Spice Girl tried to take her own life twice — first as a teen, and then in 2004 when she swallowed 200 aspirin while suffering depression during her marriage to ex-husband Stephen Belafonte.
Mel, 43, made the admission in a now out-of-print autobiography she wrote in 2002, titled Catch A Fire.
She says in the 494-page book – which now sells online for up to $237: “I feel ashamed of what I did to this day. Some other girls and I composed a filthy obscene poison pen letter and addressed it to this weird boy we used to see around.
“He was special needs and found it hard fitting in, so it was particularly nasty of us to pick on him.
“I guess we spotted his vulnerability and took advantage of it. Kids can be so cruel.
“A teacher found it and confiscated it and we were sent home.
“It was so bad the head was even thinking of expelling us. I was totally panic-stricken.
“My dad was so, so angry when he got home – ‘Can you imagine us reading that filth in front of your teachers?’ he asked me repeatedly. He went on and on and on about it and I hung my head in shame.”
It was when she was grounded for a month she “started on a downward spiral of depression."
She began stealing her parents’ supply of headache tablets ahead of her suicide attempt and wrote a farewell note before she swallowed the stash.
Mel said: “I later found out that headache pills are the worst things you could possibly try and kill yourself with. They make your insides belled and it’s a horribly slow, painful death.
“I wanted to be free – I felt like an alien. What I remember about the overdose is looking at myself in the mirror, taking the pills one by one, tears trickling down my cheeks, swallowing my sobs.
“My note was just, ‘I don’t like school. I don’t like my friends, I hate my dad and he doesn’t understand me. It’s best if I get rid of myself’.
“I climbed onto the top bunk and gradually drifted into unconsciousness.”
Mel was only saved as her mother had a headache and when she found there were no tablets rushed to her daughter’s bedroom to check if she was ill.
“The next thing I remember was literally being pulled off the top bunk bed by the neck of my pajamas,” Mel added. "I was half-unconscious, dragged down the stairs by my screaming, panic-stricken mother into an ambulance, while my dad screamed, ‘Get her out of this house – she’s insane – don’t let her come back in until she’s normal’.
“I vomited all the way to the hospital and when I got there I remember having this tube rammed down my throat – rammed– and then forcing me to be sick again.
“I spewed up pill after pill after pill. I half remember hitting one of the nurses too.”
Mel also said her parents, including her disciplinarian dad “locked away the incident”, adding: “Inevitably I did the same.”
Now, in her upcoming book Brutally Honest — out November 27 — Mel details her suicide attempt while married to her second husband Stephen Belafonte, 43 – which, like her teen attempt to end her life, involved her swallowing hundreds of aspirin pills while watching herself in a mirror.
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The new book will also lift the lid on her cocaine and booze abuse, bitter divorce from Stephen and her love of threesomes.
It’s also been reported she reveals she had vaginal rejuvenation and cosmetic surgeries on her face to get over her latest divorce.
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