Mariah Carey Reveals Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis: 'I Lived In Denial'

Mariah Carey Reveals Bipolar Disorder
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Apr. 11 2018, Updated 11:28 a.m. ET

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Mariah Carey has opened up about her health crisis, revealing to fans that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder back in 2001.

As readers know, the "We Belong Together" singer was hospitalized after suffering a physical and mental breakdown at the height of her fame. While she told PEOPLE that she "didn't want to believe it" at the time, she was soon informed about her terrifying condition.

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"Until recently I lived in denial and isolation and in constant fear someone would expose me," she admitted, saying that she felt ashamed about her bipolar disorder. "It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn't do that anymore. I sought and received treatment, I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love — writing songs and making music."

Carey, 48, is now going to therapy and taking medication for her condition. She told the publication that she decided to come clean about her health struggles because she's "in a really good place right now."

"I'm actually taking medication that seems to be pretty good. It's not making me feel too tired or sluggish or anything like that. Finding the proper balance is what is most important," said the star.

"For a long time, I thought I had a severe sleep disorder," recalled Carey. "But it wasn't normal insomnia and I wasn't lying awake counting sheep. I was working and working and working … I was irritable and in constant fear of letting people down. It turns out that I was experiencing a form of mania. Eventually I would just hit a wall. I guess my depressive episodes were characterized by having very low energy. I would feel so lonely and sad — even guilty that I wasn't doing what I needed to be doing for my career."

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Mariah Carey — who is the mother of six-year-old twins Monroe and Moroccan — is now back in the studio and living her best life with dancer boyfriend Bryan Tanaka.

In her interview, she said she's fought to control her bipolar disorder and is now doing great.

"I'm hopeful we can get to a place where the stigma is lifted from people going through anything alone," she concluded. "It can be incredibly isolating. It does not have to define you and I refuse to allow it to define me or control me."

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