Chris Brown Confesses He Contemplated Suicide After Beating Rihanna

Apr. 18 2016, Published 1:19 p.m. ET

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Chris Brown understands how the public felt about him after he assaulted his ex-girlfriend, Rihanna, back in 2009. He hated himself, too.

In fact, the singer confesses in a shocking new video, he even contemplated killing himself.

"I felt like a f***ing monster," the now 26-year-old father of baby Royalty, nearly 2, says in the trailer for his upcoming documentary, Welcome to My Life. "I was thinking about suicide and everything else."

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"I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating. I just was getting high. I went from being on top of the world, number one songs, being kind of like America's sweetheart, to being public enemy number one."

As Rihanna, now 28, recounted in a 2009 interview with Diane Sawyer, Brown punched her and bit her during an altercation the night before the Grammy Awards that February. She said he also choked her, and threatened to kill her.

He eventually pleaded guilty to felony assault, and finally completed probation in March 2015.

"That was the worst day of my life and probably his life. I felt like I was going to lose my child," Brown's mom, Joyce Hawkins, admits in the video.

Six years later, Brown claims he is back and better than ever.

"If there was ever a doubt in your mind that Chris Brown was done, I wouldn't bet on it," he says.

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