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‘Cake Boss’ Star Buddy Admits He’s Still Struggling With Mom’s Death: ‘It Was Tough’

Oct. 11 2017, Updated 12:31 p.m. ET

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Buddy Valastros mother Mary passed away from ALS in June after a five-year battle with the disease. In an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com, the Cake Boss star admitted he is still struggling with the tragic death of his mother.

“She was my biggest fan, she was my mom, she was my hero,” Valastro, 40, told Radar. “I would not be the man I am today without her. It is a loss.”

Although Valastro admitted he was “more mentally prepared” for his mother’s death than when his father passed away from cancer in 1994, watching her “deteriorate” over time was “really, really tough” for the family.

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“When I go to the Hoboken bakery I cry,” he confessed. “A couple of weeks ago, I stopped in my old office above the bakery. I just cried. I can hear her zipping around the place in my head and telling me she’s the boss. She will always be my boss.”

Although the Carlo’s Bake Shop owner tried to return to work shortly after her death, he admitted he wasn’t ready.

“The day after we buried my dad, we woke up and went to work,” he shared. “We tried to keep everything running. I tried to do that, but I couldn’t. I took a couple of weeks. I went down to the shore and cleared my head with my family. It was tough.”

Cake Boss viewers were able to say their goodbyes to Mary, who became a fan-favorite on the show, on episode two of season five.

“I thought about the millions of fans who loved her and saw her battle throughout the years,” he explained of the episode, which is entitled “Farewell to Momma Mary.” “I had to do something. We did a tasteful job. I really wanted my mom to be remembered like a lively ball of energy… Dancing around, singing and making everyone happy. It’s been really awesome to remember her that way. I think it was a really good tribute to her. She deserves it.”

Cake Boss airs Saturdays at 8/7c on TLC.

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