They Really Did Say It! 50 Outrageous Kardashian Quotes

From politics to plastic surgery, nothing is off limits for the Kardashians!

Kim declared when the family slapped stepmom Ellen Kardashian with a lawsuit, alleging that she sold their property to a magazine publishing company, “The slippery snake has been served!”

Kim said when she suffered a painful incident during her pregnancy, “If labor’s worse than this, I’ll hang myself. I’ll literally take a knife and slit my throat!” Luckily, it wasn’t necessary and she’s now a proud mom of baby North!

Kim commenting on her heritage: “I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal!”

Kim was ridiculed for speaking out about why she believed in Barack Obama during the 2012 presidential campaign: "He just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto."

Kim on her famous booty: "I don't understand why everyone is always going on about my butt. I'm Armenian. It's normal."

Kim on a photo shoot she did with pop star Justin Bieber that got misinterpreted: "Is that not ridiculous that people thought that Justin Bieber and I were on a…romantic vacation together, in the Bahamas, and I just happened to wear a gown as my swimsuit and red lips and he's dressed in a suit in the ocean? Seriously--who would walk to the beach like that?"

Kim shared her thoughts on plastic surgery: "I'll have surgery at some point. I’ll do my boobs for sure. I'll never do my butt -- I mean how would you sit down?"

Kim wrote in her blog, "Ashton said the monkey had pooped on him, so I didn't feel too bad, ha, ha. Gross little monkey!"

Kim on why she neutered her dog, Rocky: "I don't like big balls on a dog."

Kim on former pal Paris Hilton’s comment that her rear end looked like cottage cheese in a trash bag: "If Paris Hilton thinks my butt looks gross, I really don't care. At least I have a butt."

Kim showed she doesn’t care about her weight by saying, "For me, skinny is just a style of jeans -- not a goal."

Kim showed she doesn’t care about her weight by saying, "For me, skinny is just a style of jeans -- not a goal."

Priorities, priorites! Kim has said, "I hate when women wear the wrong foundation color. It might be the worst thing on the planet when they wear their makeup too light."

Kim isn’t shy about treating herself! She admitted, "I buy myself a gift every year, so this year I bought everything I wanted."

According to Kim, bad media coverage doesn’t faze her: "I couldn't care less if they the media say I'm pregnant with twins by my brother."

Kim said she’s alcohol-free but the same can’t be said for her sisters! "I've never been a drinker, I've never gotten into drugs ... You know, I think I have such a close family ... I think you know my sisters do enough drinking to kind of fill up the whole family."

Kim to Khloe when the sisters got hair removal on their show in the same room: "You have a better, like, looking vagina than I thought.”

Kim raged at Khloe for waking her up one hour early: "How f***ing dare you? You're such an evil b***h. How spiteful and jealous are you? How f***ing dare you, Khloe? You crossed a major line with me. That s*** is not okay. You dumb, evil, little f***ing troll. You have no idea how much I hate you. You're disgusting."

Kim on her famous booty: "A few people have asked if it's real. You can grab it if you want."

Kim on Britney Spears: "She said she loves me and she loves my butt and how she wants to be my lesbian lover. I mean, what do you say to that other than 'No thanks'? Actually, maybe I would do it for a million bucks."

Kim was repulsed when Mama Kris suggested she go on a date with Gerard Butler. "How about barf?" Kim said.

Kim, who dated the NFL’s Reggie Bush, commented, "Every girl who has dated a football player ... They all have sex the same way."

Kim showed she had no fear of Botox injections. "I think I can handle it, I have a really high tolerance for pain,” she said.

After Khloe’s nipples showed through her blouse when she hosted The X Factor, she told Fox & Friends, "I have a nipple obsession and personally love when women show their nipples— perhaps I was a member of a nudist colony in my last life."

Khloe on her sister Kourtney’s breast-feeding of son Mason: "Wow my sister has changed. She used to whip her boobs out for no reason. Now she does it to feed her child."

Khloe is a fan of briefs for men! "Droopy balls? Buy briefs! A bra for your balls!" she suggested.

Ladies, don’t you dare hit on Khloe’s husband Lamar Odom! Khloe told The Insider: "If I even imagined someone talking to my husband too close, I would beat the crap out of them."

Khloe said during a family meeting to decide what to do about stepmom Ellen Kardashian, whom they claim sold their property to a magazine company, “I just want to s--- on her face!”

Khloe on the blow-up giraffe, Henry, that hubby Lamar sent her: "Henry likes when you ride him."

Khloe to her stepfather, Bruce Jenner, regarding golfing: "I could maybe hit it better if they were black balls.”

During the NBA lockout, Khloe weathered sleepless nights with Lamar when he suffered insomnia. When Lamar insisted she was getting six hours of sleep a night, Khloe raged, “F--- me with a dildo if that’s what you think! Sometimes, a b**** snaps."

Khloe made fun of her mom Kris’ footsteps when she arrived to meet the girls: "I hear the pitter-patter of a dinosaur."

Khloe told her sister Kim’s fiancé Kris Humphries before the infamous wedding, “Do you know why I call you Frankie? Because you remind me of a glimpse of Frankenstein. You just need little bolts right here.” Then she pointed to her neck!

Khloe told Kris after her facelift, “Your neck doesn’t look like leather anymore!”

Khloe commented to mom Kris on her short ‘do, “Your hair is like shorter than a vagina’s bush!”

Khloe once admitted the truth about herself: “I'm Khloe. My sisters say I am a b***h."

Khloe on Kim and then-boyfriend, football player Reggie Bush, “I mean, I love the Bush and the Tush. Seriously, the Bush and the Tush, that was, like, iconic for me, I loved them. You can't do much better than that.”

Khloe spoke out about handling kids: “A lot of adults don’t think it’s their place to interfere with kids. I interfere all the time.”

Khloe showed she knew her sister Kim more than well, saying, “Her nickname isn’t Elizabeth Taylor just for the diamonds.”

Khloe shared her odd view on that time of the month: "Don't go into the ocean while on your period because a shark is going to attack you."

Khloe said to her mom Kris about writing Kim's prenuptial agreement with Kris Humphries, “She’ll thank us all later when she still has a place to live.”

After Scott Disick praised her diamonds, momager Kris Jenner said, "Thank you. A girl never knows when she might need a couple of diamonds at ten 'o' clock in the morning."

Kris said to Kim as they shopped for tennis gear, “Honey, anytime there’s balls involved, it’s my kind of game.”

Kris on her life philosophy, “If somebody says no, you’re asking the wrong person.”

Kourtney shared a novel idea with her sisters: “Have you ever put food up your ass? A pickle would be good.”

Kourtney spoke out about motherhood, "I remember one day I was kissing Mason and he spit up in my mouth, and I loved it."

Kourtney about working with photographer Ashley Paige, "I'm ready to shove a taco up her a**."

Kourtney admitted, "I'm such a b**** when I'm hungry. Like, stone cold biatch."

Kourtney’s baby daddy Scott Disick said, “When you think of the debonair, ridiculously good looking guy, you think of me."

Kourtney’s baby daddy Scott Disick said, “When you think of the debonair, ridiculously good looking guy, you think of me."

Scott dismissed those who didn’t like his douche-y ways on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, saying, “All the haters are just jealous, so they’re trying to bring me down. I’m young, handsome, successful, wealthy. You could say I’m a role model – I’m the American dream!”

Kourtney’s man Scott pontificated, "I’m like a Lord of something. I just don’t know what. I’m trying to figure it out …"