‘Below Deck’s Caroline Bedol Admits Watching Show Triggered ‘Suicidal Thoughts’

Below Deck’s newcomer, Caroline Bedol did not have the most peaceful experience on the show’s sixth season. But things only got worse for the reality star when she returned home, she revealed in an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com.

Bedol, 34, revealed to RadarOnline.com that she had thoughts of killing herself from the day she left the boat until “halfway through the airing of the season.”

“I was fighting alone,” Bedol said. “Once I got back I was really depressed. I was struggling.”

“I was saying, ‘Every episode, I feel like I am dying,” she recalled.

As RadarOnline.com reported, police conducted a welfare check on Bedol in January after she wrote a distressing tweet.

She explained to RadarOnline.com she never had a plan to harm herself. The third stew also revealed that “nobody” from the cast reached out to her after her departure.

The blowout fight that propelled Bedol to leave the boat for good is still fresh in her mind. Footage from the reunion showed Kate Chastain and Josiah Carter shouting that Bedol was leaving the show due to having herpes.

After returning back to her home state, Bedol has been living "in between homes," RadarOnline.com previously reported .

She may not have a permanent home, but Bedol is happy to be far from her nemesis Chastain. The outspoken reality star called Chastain a “textbook psychopath.”

“I don’t use the word psychopath flippantly,” she explained. “It’s a personality disorder. These people display patterns and that’s why we study them.”

Fast forward to today, and Bedol said she’s in a better place emotionally.

One part of her story line on the Bravo show was discussing her mom’s struggle with early onset dementia. Now that the show is over, she said she’s focusing on her own health and no one else's.

“I need to take care of myself," she said, adding she now "confidence I did not have in the beginning."

“The positive that’s come from the show is that I’ve had something I’ve never had before – and that’s a platform to reach people,” she said. “I’ve received so many messages saying ‘I relate to you, I have depression,’ It’s humbling.”