TV: Monday Hot List

Mar. 12 2010, Updated 7:56 a.m. ET

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After a short hiatus, the CBS comedy line-up is back tonight. On How I Met Your Mother, Marshall gets mugged so of course Lily wants to get a gun. So, Marshall in turns creates a crazy, outlandish story about what happened in the hopes that she changes her mind. And, watch it while you can—Two and a Half Men is new tonight but no telling how much longer you’ll be able to catch it with Charlie Sheen. Rumor has it that he wants off the show as soon as possible. Tonight, Alan tolerates Jake’s new bad influence of a friend but only because he is attracted to his mother—played by Courtney Thorne-Smith!

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And it wouldn’t be Monday if we weren’t talking about Gossip Girl! Tonight, Dorota gets married and Chuck hosts the traditional ceremony for her. Both Chuck and Blair participate, which should be interesting! And Serena blows off Nate for Carter (really? Isn’t she done with him yet?) and Rufus finally realizes that Lily has not been honest about where she’s been!

8pm

Dancing With The Stars (ABC)

How I Met Your Mother (CBS)

Life Unexpected (CW)

House (Fox)

10 Things I Hate About You (ABC Family)

Animal Cops: Houston (Animal)

Little People, Big World (TLC)

Good Eats (Food)

8:30pm

Rules of Engagement (CBS)

Little People, Big World (TLC)

9pm

Trauma (NBC)

Gossip Girl (CW)

24 (FOX)

Two and a Half Men (CBS)

Intervention (A&E)

Tough Love Couples (VH1)

Ultimate Cake Off (TLC)

9:30pm

The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

10pm

Castle (ABC)

CSI: Miami (CBS)

Diners, Drive-ins and Dives (Food)

Damages (FX)

Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (Oxygen)

True Life (MTV)

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel)

11:30pm

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno (NBC)

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