VIDEO: Idol Hopeful Brian Krause Tip Toes Through The Tulips But Fails To Impress

Shania Twain was the guest judge as the “American Idol” auditions wound their way to Chicago on Tuesday… and there was little that impressed her much!

In a roll call of crazies, the Windy City seemed to blow what talent it had into oblivion.

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First up, there was 26-year-old Amy Lang, a disaster waiting to happen. Professing a crush on Ryan Seacrest never helps, either. She dished out an overly dramatic rendition of “Doctor Feelgood,” and collapsed on the floor for stage effect.  Pass.

Curley Newbern got higher than Joe Cocker, but in a not-so-good way. Simon asked if his singing attracts animals. That’s a no.

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But as is always the case with “Idol”, the funniest was also the saddest. Former Army man Brian Krause, 27, admitted he got in strife while servicing for singing to the troops. It’s easy to see why.

“Is this a joke Brian,” asked Simon, after his performance of Tiny Tim’s “Tip Toe Through The Tulips

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“No it is not a joke, Mr. Cowell,” Brian responded.

“Swear on your mothers life,” Simon taunted.

He swore and still the judges said no.

“I feel exhausted,” Brian later said. “I feel like slipping into a warm bubble bath and relaxing my thoughts.” Ewww.

There were a few performances that impressed, however.

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Katelyn Epperly, 19, auditioned to make her mom happy because her father had just walked out on the family. Sporting cowboy boots while singing Duffy’s “Syrup and Honey”, she won over Shania and Randy but Kara and Simon both thought she lacked energy. Still, she got a four-way yes for Hollywood.

Likewise, sweet 16-year-old Charity Vance received the full-house and Simon offered: ‘You’ll sound good on records.”

Angela Martin, 28, who auditioned in Philadelphia a couple seasons ago, is back. This time with “Just Fine” by Mary J. Blige. Could it be third time lucky? You might remember her: she was the one whose dad was killed right before she was cut in the Hollywood round. Then last year, she had to leave the show because there was a warrant for her arrest… for a traffic violation.

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‘It’s people like you, singers like you, which is why I like doing this show,’ Simon told her, as the judged unanimously passed her though.

They were also seduced by John Park, an Asian student who followed his dreams into music against his parents’ wishes. His soulful performance got a unanimous yes for Hollywood, on a night that produced more failures than it did successes.

Just 13 Idol hopefuls booked tickets to Hollywood.

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