Kourtney Kardashian’s unplanned pregnancy wasn’t happiness and excitement—at first.
The reality TV star admits the surprising news forced her to make a very tough decision: would she keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy?
“I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not, and I wasn’t thinking about adoption,” Kourtney, 30, told People Magazine.
Kardashian, who found out she was pregnant while shooting her reality show Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami, says she wanted to be sure that the decision she made would be the right one for her.
“I do think every woman should have the right to do what they want, but I don’t think it’s talked through enough,” she said. “I can’t even tell you how many people just say, ‘Oh, get an abortion.’ Like it’s not a big deal. I called my best friend crying, and I was like, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ She said, ‘Call your doctor, and at least find out the risks and stuff.’”
Kardashian said she discussed abortion with her doctor before doing some of her own research on the Internet.
“I looked online, and I was sitting on the bed hysterically crying, reading these stories of people who felt so guilty from having an abortion,” she recalls. “I was reading these things of how many people are traumatized by it afterwards.
Scott Disick, the baby’s 26-year-old father, was supportive of Kourtney’s decision—either way. The pair, who split in November after 2 years of dating, got back together after discovering Kourtney was pregnant.
“He wanted me to talk about it more, but I just kept to myself,” she says. “He said, ‘I really want you to keep it, but I will support you whatever you decide to do.'”
After scouring the Internet, Kardashian says she started to realize that an abortion wasn’t an option for her. “I was just sitting there crying, thinking, ‘I can’t do that,’ ” she says. “And I felt in my body, this is meant to be. God does things for a reason, and I just felt like it was the right thing that was happening in my life.
Kourtney adds, “For me, all the reasons why I wouldn’t keep the baby were so selfish: It wasn’t like I was raped, it’s not like I’m 16. I’m 30 years old, I make my own money, I support myself, I can afford to have a baby. And I am with someone who I love, and have been with for a long time.
“My doctor told me there is nothing you will ever regret about having the baby, but he was like, ‘You may regret not having the baby.’ And I was like: That is so true.”