Rachel Zoe Project Recap – 9/28

If you didn’t watch The Rachel Zoe Project last night, there really are only two things that you need to know. The first and most important thing is that Rachel’s cliffhanging illness didn’t kill her—much to Brad and Taylor’s chagrin. Seriously, the opening moments of the show had them talking quite seriously about how genuinely worried they were that Rachel could be sick enough to die. They started to think about what things would be like if Rachel passed on and they had to take over the business. It struck us as pretty presumptuous on their part that the business was going to be left entirely in their hands. Something tells us that Rachel, Miss Passive Aggressive USA, has other plans in the works and those two definitely wouldn’t inherit the biz in the event of her death.

In case you were wondering, Rachel didn’t die because her big ailment was simply a case of vertigo. Her doctor, however, told Rachel that if she didn’t rest that the vertigo could last for years—something Rachel doesn’t have time for. Just a note—Rachel even does sick glamorous. At the doctor’s office, she had every hair in place, picture perfect make-up and tons of jewelry on to weigh her down. Rachel dramatically tells the team that she has vertigo and will be resting and depending on them to pick up the slack. Brad seems to especially feel the stress over at Camp Zoe because people “always need outfits.”

Rachel, however, cannot just sit still and decides to auction off all her old jewelry at the LA vintage store Decades with the proceeds going to charity. The owner decides to set up the event a la an episode of “This Is Your Life” featuring pictures and mementos from Rachel’s life in fashion. Rachel thinks maybe she has 100 pieces of jewelry to offer up—turns out that she has more like 1000. Oops—just a slight miscalculation! The only thing Rachel is adamant about is she absolutely will not part with anything Chanel—not even for charity!

Okay, so Rachel is sick with vertigo, leaving all her work to Taylor and Brad but planning a charity event to give her at least something to do while “resting.” But lets get to the real drama of the night. First, Rachel proudly announced to Brad and Taylor that because the schedule is crystal clear during Paris Fashion Week that they both are going to accompany her!  Taylor and Brad—former enemies—are so excited to hang out in Paris together and they both can’t wait to see a real, live Chanel fashion show. But then tragedy strikes when Rachel books three jobs during Paris Fashion Week and either Brad or Taylor will need to stay in LA.

Brace yourself, this is where Rachel becomes the hands down winner of the “Most Non-Confrontational Boss of the Year” award. She emails Brad and Taylor (jointing) and explains that one of them must stay behind to cover the jobs in LA. The sub-text is Brad (the most junior member of the team) needs to offer to stay home so Rachel doesn’t have to ask him. Rachel tells Taylor that obviously she sent the email so Brad would do the right thing. Taylor explains the secret code of the email to Brad and he flips out (rightfully so) that Rachel was testing him rather than just outright asking him not to go to Paris. Rachel won’t talk to him about this and when he does get her on the phone for a minute—her phone conveniently cuts out. Rachel then sends ANOTHER email just to Taylor. This email simply says that Taylor is in charge of deciding who goes to Paris because she’s the more senior employee. Wait, did we miss something? Did Rachel die after all and leave the company to Taylor? Because last time we checked, isn’t Rachel more senior than Taylor and Brad combined?

Well, after much deliberation—Taylor decides that Brad should go. But, you know Taylor is a very smart girl and she now has Rachel in the palm of her hand for a long, long time. Next time Rachel asks her to do something she doesn’t want to do, all Taylor has to say is, “Nope—I gave up Paris.” Rachel should have thought this through a little more as she is definitely going to regret that she didn’t grow some balls and just play the role of boss for once.

Oh, by the way? Rachel is finally cured—in case you were wondering. She has a moment of clarity while talking to Brad that she totally screwed up. But, Rachel rationalizes it by determining that Paris isn’t moving anywhere and Taylor will go the next time fashion week comes around. Brad, of course, has to give Rachel yet another thing to worry about and points out that the tectonic plates could move and then what would Rachel do if Paris really did end up going somewhere? Rachel just hopes if that did happen that Paris would just end up closer to LA. Anything to not have to think about the wrath of Taylor!

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