The phenomenon by which rich
heterosexual couples underwrite the
cost of a new symphony hall or
lecture theater—and then
insist that their full names be
emblazoned on it—is pretty
lamentable, as this short scene from
my one-act play, A Lamentable
Trend, makes clear:

Lost Person: Excuse me, could you direct me to the Charles and Dee Wyly Theatre?

Savvy Person (cheerfully): Sure! Just go past the Margot and Bill Winspear Opera House, then take a left at the Malcolm and Anna-Louisa Krasinski Performing Arts Library—

Lost Person: Don't you mean the Malcolm and Anna-Louisa (née Phillips) Krasinski and Their Newborn Daughter Meghan and Their Lactation Expert Sarah Stevens Performing Arts Library?

Saavy Person (glumly): I stand corrected.

I suppose it's a sign of feminist progress that both Charles and Dee Wyly (above right) get their first names slapped on the building. But if you love the Arts so fiercely that you're willing to forgo a fourth vacation home just to support Them, you should know there's an art to naming a building. "The Louvre" is a good name for a building. "The Charles and Dee Louvre" is not. For a lesson in restraint, these folks need only look to Gertrude Vanderbilt Whitney who suppressed 18 letters of her name when she christened her museum "The Whitney" back in 1931, or Genevieve and Michael K. Superdome who, 44 years later, humbly opted for "The Superdome."
—Dale Hrabi

LINK
• See the Charles and Dee Wyly Theatre (designed by Rem Koolhaas), currently under construction in Dallas