I'm sorry, I couldn't get past the weirdness of Vanity Fair and Google being the party hosts.

Why hasn't Miss Jay been strangled with his own intestines yet?

Keith Davis is back on the Cowboys after getting cut by Miami. Fire off a few rounds in celebration.

Ooh, I see what you did up there with "McSame." Very clever!

Apatow has always been a precious, man-child-writing hack. Where's the news here?

Yikes. Those harridans look like they sleep on the beach.

Angelina Jolie and Seth Rogen are an "admirable cast"? Yikes. How awful an actor do you have to be to get a less effusive endorsement?

Maybe those execs should look inside themselves and blame the increasing irrelevance of traditional, captive-viewer media.

Look at lpf1314, out there making this "Internet" pay off in spades!

I am a woman and I am indignant, so I do not like this man.

He should be jailed on the basis of that photo alone.

People care what Katherine Heigl thinks? Judd Apatow is still making movies? This planet blows.

Remember when Patton Oswalt was on The King of Queens? Oh, man, that show was hilarious.

They're certainly no more cartoonishly disfigured than the top-heavy orange fembots who pass for beautiful in Hollywood.

Can't we pass a law that prevents Pam Anderson from marrying anyone else? It would nip this sort of thing in the bud.

Well, that was certainly... too long.

Not really so different from "Last Comic Standing." There were "unknown" comics on that show who had their own television sitcoms named after themselves.

Also, maybe the black guy is better qualified than the white broad, and whitey's sense of entitlement is overshadowing her ability to consider herself objectively..

Politics is exactly about making friends. It's about establishing relationships across a variety of cultural distances. Only in the past eight years has politics been about being a cock and expecting everyone else to knuckle under to your swagger.

On the other hand, "Republican is actually a douchebag" isn't really news.

I don't even know what a Rachel Bilson is. If the lack of charisma on that cover is any indicator, though, she's as much a cover girl as Mischa Barton.

Hey! You leave Tony Romo alone!

Gerard Butler is Scottish, dang.