Swifter...I loved your response, even if I am the teensiest flea in your assessment.

This Is Your News, Cracked: The Bloviator Keith Olbermann and the Blowhard from 'Nicetown'
IUSED TO BE AMUSED BY KEITH OLBERMANN, MSNBC's bully pulpit. I was dazzled by his eloquence and taken in by the righteousness he wore on his sleeve. I was an early fan in the late 90s during his first go-round at MSNBC, captivated by his wit and his daily lacerations on the Monica Lewinsky scandal. And though I did not always agree with him, he was nevertheless the only must-see TV for me. Yet there were moments when the righteous mask slipped from his face and I saw glimpses of the carnival barker, and I suspected his real intentions: to sell more tickets.

Now Olbermann's shrillness has gotten so ear-piercing that journalists with bona fides are speaking up. News patrician Tom Brokaw had to correct Olbermann's claim that Clinton had "shoehorned" news coverage for herself. "Well, I think that's unfair," the elder-statesman said. As far as I know Olbermann did not make Brokaw one of his "Worst" persons in the world! Yet dare I say Olbermann proves her point when he annoints Katie Couric with that title after she criticized pundits who have "crossed the line" with their sexist slants against Hillary. AndTime claims the bloviator has blown his "last remaining gasket.
Surprise, guess who just beat Bill O'Reilly in the ratings? And now we know why Olbermann's become the anti-corrective: the screaming sells. The carnival barker steps forth.

CrabbyGolightly.com

Are They For Real? The Creepy Parents Who Want to Put Their Kids on TV
NO BETTER CAUTIONARY TALE EXISTS ABOUT TURNING OFFSPRING INTO MEAL TICKETS than the one who spent time in UCLA's funny farm. Poor little rich girl Brit has been raised on the adoring and leering glances of strangers since she was a tween. And we all can see how that turned out for her.

So what else to conclude about Dinah Lohan and Denise Richards' parenting skills other than "rotten" when you hear that they plan to star their children in reality TV shows? Can you spell N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-T-S?

Gossips have reported that Charlie Sheen's ex-wife was foaming at the mouth over the chance to star in a reality TV vehicle with her two toddler girls, Sam and Lola. The show would highlight the single parent life in La La Land. Dad Charlie fought the plans in court but apparently even the judges in La La Land are tainted by the water and the court ruled in Denise's favor. Fast forward 20 years: Wanna bet that Sam and Lola feel so empty when the cameras aren't around that they pick up with paparazzi?

CrabbyGolightly.com

Are They For Real? The Creepy Parents Who Want to Put Their Kids on TV
NO BETTER CAUTIONARY TALE EXISTS ABOUT TURNING OFFSPRING INTO MEAL TICKETS than the one who spent time in UCLA's funny farm. Poor little rich girl Brit has been raised on the adoring and leering glances of strangers since she was a tween. And we all can see how that turned out for her.

So what else to conclude about Dinah Lohan and Denise Richards' parenting skills other than "rotten" when you hear that they plan to star their children in reality TV shows? Can you spell N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-T-S?

Gossips have reported that Charlie Sheen's ex-wife was foaming at the mouth over the chance to star in a reality TV vehicle with her two toddler girls, Sam and Lola. The show would highlight the single parent life in La La Land. Dad Charlie fought the plans in court but apparently even the judges in La La Land are tainted by the water and the court ruled in Denise's favor. Fast forward 20 years: Wanna bet that Sam and Lola feel so empty when the cameras aren't around that they pick up with paparazzi?

CrabbyGolightly.com

TIME TO PLAY HAUTE CRITIC!

Let's spend a few minutes contemplating what scultor-cum-celebrity skewer Daniel Edwards is saying this time: Oprah's gone to the dogs? She's got canines on her mind? She's queen of the bitches? Or that she just bitchin' rules? Don't fuck with her, she'll let the dogs out? Or perhaps she's mere mad hatter's inspiration for the London opening of the movie version of Sex In The City?

This is the third time that Edwards, a native of the LaPorte, Ind., where Oprah used to own a spread, has tackled the Divine O in form. He's done an Oprah death mask and the omnipotent "O" as sacred sarcophagus.

"Memories of Sophie and Gracie: A Puppies' Memorial" is inspired by the Oprah press releases that announced the passing of Gracie, who choked on a ball last year, and the passing of Sophie, who died of kidney disease in March.

Oprah honored the memory of her two dead dogs in a show on puppy mills last month. But, David Kesting says, "given the natures of the demise of Oprah's dogs, we feel the horrors of a puppy mill could be inconsequential compared to the poison hazards pets face in the home." "Sophie's kidney failure may have resulted from natural causes, but we hope the Puppies' Memorial will remind everyone that Gracie's choking could have been prevented," the press release says.

Not to worry, David. Crabby is sure that the dog walker who gave the offending toy to Gracie is persona non grata in Oprahland and is lucky to have knees.

CrabbyGolightly.com

Miley Cyrus: Displaying Naughtiness? Or Synergy at Work?
CONGRATS TO MILEY CYRUS AND HER DADDY, BILLY RAY, WHO HAVE succeeded in turning a wholesome TV princess into a poor little rich girl. And doesn't that always make for 'more sellable' story? Because now they have to manufacture dirt to make the just-sold million dollar biography of a privileged 15-year-old more appealing. Oh, and let's point out, the book's release date is timed to Miley's scheduled 2009 tour! Marketing synergy at work, America!

CrabbyGolightly.com. Taking a dim view of celebrity, media and power.