“I’m on the airplane… love wifi! I am sitting next to an Air Marshall! Jim the air marshall makes me feel safe!” – Kim Kardashian

“Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I’m looking to have a conference… not until I get the table though” – Kanye West

“I can’t believe my grand mothers making me take Out the garbage I’m rich f**k this I’m going home I don’t need this s**t.” – 50 Cent

“I’m, like, soooooo pretty” – Nicole Richie

“Do ants have d**cks?” – Kourtney Kardashian

“This farmville thing is so addicting and fun. and now you can get puppies! how fun!! gotta love this stuff!!!!” – Jon Gosselin

“I’m leavin on a jet train…..” – Kirstie Alley

“WHY is everyone in SUCH a panic about hurricane (i’m calling it Sally)..? Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace.” – Lindsay Lohan

“OMG just woke up and my rear is plugged – tried everything – yawning…pinching my nose, closing mouth and pushing out breath… won’t unstop” – Sherri Shepherd

“Wow there are a lot of people with Bieber in their name. Someone should figure out how2 turn Justin Bieber background & names into energy.” – Tom Cruise