“He’s the cutest cop I’ve seen in a long time.” That’s what Oregon resident Lorna Jeanne Dudash told a 911-dispatcher in 2006 when she begged them to give a police officer her number. The 45-year-old took a fancy to the cop who turned up at her doorstep when she called earlier to complain about her noisy neighbors.
Believe it or not when you’re inside your car you need to pull up the lock on the door if you want to get out. That's what a 911-dispatcher had to explain to an unidentified Florida woman who called saying: “I’m locked inside my car. Nothing electrical works.”
In 2006 an unidentified 44-year-old from Aachen, Germany called police to her home saying there was an emergency. They arrived to find her 46-year-old husband watching porn while she grumbled that she couldn’t get him to stop even when she offered him the “real thing.”
An adorable four-year-old called Johnny once called a 911-dispatcher to ask for help with his math. His mother wasn’t pleased, however, even when he told her: “You said if I need help to call somebody.” The mom can be heard on the 911-tape saying: “I didn’t mean the police.”
A Texas woman called 911 in 2009 to complain there wasn’t enough shrimp in the shrimp fried rice that she ordered. By the time police arrived at the restaurant, she had left.
In 2009 police in the Zhejiang Province in China answered two emergency calls from a boyfriend and girlfriend. The woman complained that her boyfriend wouldn’t warm her cold feet and the man called to say his lover was being unreasonable.
Note to self: Don’t call the cops to complain you’ve been denied entry to a nightclub when you know you’re intoxicated. That’s what Edgar Dieguez-Lopez did when a bouncer turned him away from an Oregon club in 2007. The police arrived and arrested him for drug possession.
What do you do if you’re craving a cheeseburger? If you’re Gregory Jackson Sr. you call 911 nine times within 90 minutes demanding one. The dispatcher told the hungry man: “We don’t take cheeseburger orders.”
An unidentified Pennsylvania woman called 911 in the middle of the night in April 2013, saying: “I need a divorce. Can you make my husband leave?” The 42-year-old was cited for disorderly conduct and misusing the 911 system.
When you let your one-year-old play with your cell phone and dial 911 16 times for no reason, the cops get really mad. This is what Oregon mom Jessica May found out in February 2013 after she was issued with a citation for improper use of an emergency reporting system.
A 19-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of manufacturing marijuana after he and his roommates called Nebraska cops to complain their hookah pipes had been stolen. The police arrived at the home to find alleged evidence of pot growing.
In June 2011 Sacramento resident Jennifer Arguellas called the California Highway Patrol dispatch more than a staggering 2,100 times. She was finally arrested just over a month later after she called them 135 times in ONE day!
Florida-woman Latreasa L Goodman was so mad that a McDonald’s restaurant ran out of chicken nuggets that she called 911 THREE times. Apparently she was seething that – after she paid for 10 pieces of Chicken McNuggets – she was told they had run out and she could have a larger portion of a different menu item instead.
Hood County Sheriff's Office
A Texas woman was arrested in February 2013 after she allegedly dialed 911 requesting that cigarettes be delivered to her home. Lieutenant Kathy Jividen from Hood County said the 48-year-old woman was “very intoxicated.”
Darlene Huntley called cops earlier this year after she allegedly broke into a Dollar Tree store and locked herself inside. The 45-year-old North Bend, Oregon woman was charged with second-degree burglary and second-degree criminal trespass.
Maybe George McMurrain was trying to avoid drunk-driving charge when he dialed 911 from his motel room asking for a ride to the liquor store. The 57-year-old Florida-resident called the dispatcher three times with his request. He received a misdemeanor charge for the misuse of 911 instead.
A Dearborn, Michigan cop created headlines in 2006 when he called 911 to say he was convinced that he and his wife were dying from a marijuana overdose. Edward Sanchez – who later admitted to confiscating pot from suspects and baking them in brownies – told the dispatcher: “I think we’re dead.”
Perhaps striking a blow for every child who doesn’t like the meal that’s put on their dinner table, in 2011 a 10-year-old boy called 911 to complain about his noodle soup. His unidentified dad later released a statement saying: “He was misbehaving and I told him: ‘Call them, let them come over here and see who is right’.”
A hungry man is an angry man…especially if you mess up his sandwich order. Rother McLennon was so annoyed that a deli in East Hartford, Connecticut allegedly screwed up his order that he called 911 to complain. The dispatcher told him: “Just walk away and don’t buy it.”
Two unsuspecting criminals tipped cops off that they were breaking into a car when they accidentally pocket-dialed 911. The dispatcher overheard the two suspects Stefanie Vargas and Kristian Amezquita allegedly talking about which items were and weren’t worth taking, all while Daytona Beach Police were en route to arrest them.
West Midlands Police
This UK man dialed 999 – that country’s 911 equivalent – to complain about the prostitute he had met outside a hotel. According to West Midlands Police the caller said he “wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act.” The man “claimed…the woman had made out she was better looking than she actually was.”
Boynton Beach Police Department
A Florida man got more than he bargained for after calling 911 to complain that his local Burger King had run out of lemonade. After Jean Fortune made the call an exasperated dispatcher told him: “Customer service is not a reason to call 911.” The 66-year-old was charged with abuse of 911 communications.
“Yes, this is a damn emergency. I got seven f**king cows out loose…” After dialing 911 three times to say that her farm animals were on the run this sharp-tongued Wisconsin woman was given a citation for misusing the emergency system.
Who knew you could call the police to complain that you’re 28-year-old son is not keeping his room clean? To his embarrassment Andrew Mizsak of Bedford, Ohio found that you shouldn’t, even if the said son has thrown a plate of food across the kitchen table and made a fist at you.
Allegedly robbing a widow’s home while she is attending her husband’s funeral is callous. Inadvertently informing the police by butt dialing them is just plain dumb…and karma at it’s best. Oklahoma authorities in July 2013 allegedly overheard two suspects talking about robbing the said home and their plans to return to get more loot.
A 10-year-old Brockton, Massachusetts boy called 911 and reported his mom because he didn’t want to go to bed. He hung up, the dispatcher called back and spoke to his mother and determined that there was no emergency.
A Manchester United fan in Britain called the police to complain that star player Nani was given a red card because he felt it was a crime. The 18-year-old later apologized.
Is it Simba or Snoopy? A Labrador-poodle mix had Norfolk, Virginia residents in an uproar, dialing 911 in a panic to report a lion cub on the loose. But the dog’s owner Daniel Painter had just shaved the pet’s fur to represent the lion mascot at the Old Dominion University.
A Florida teen was jailed after calling 911 twice in one day to report that he had a bad dream. During the first call Mark Welch – who allegedly later admitted to smoking a synthetic marijuana – said: “Everything that happened today is actually in my dream and I want to prove it to everybody.”
A 911-operator in Montgomery County, Maryland was put on administrative leave after he was caught sleeping while taking an emergency call in May 2012. A panicked woman who called to say her husband was having trouble breathing was met with snores.
Fox News Channel
A woman made a frantic call to 911 after she, her husband and their three-week-old baby got lost in a corn maze in at Connors Farm in Danvers, Massachusetts. The embarrassed new mom called the cops after darkness began to fall, saying: “The mosquitoes are eating us alive…”
Raibin Osman learned the hard way that calling 911 to complain that a box of orange juice was omitted from your brother’s order at a McDonald’s drive-thru is not the proper use of the emergency service. In 2009 the then 20-year-old Aloha, Oregon man spent the night in jail as a result.
Anthony White was clearly very mad after his cousin allegedly took his Playstation in 2010. The 40-year-old Georgia man told a 911-operator: “I wanna go over and get my Playstation.” When she told him it was not a life or death emergency, he said: “I’m gonna kill the son of a b****. How about that?”
“Day after Christmas, I’m in jail.” That’s what Florida woman Cynthia Colston told a reporter in December 2010. Her crime was dialing 911 FOUR times to complain that a nail technician gave her a bad manicure.
Many women may be desperate to get a husband, but Audrey Scott took things a bit too far by calling 911 FIVE times in one hour in 2010 to say: “Get me that husband.” Scott – who later admitted she had been drinking – spent three days in jail for her drunk-dial episode.
A 32-year-old man called the cops to complain that his mother had allegedly stolen his beer. In June 2010 Charles Dennison of New Port Richey, Florida was arrested and ended up in jail for making a false 911 report.
In 2012 a 20-year-old man from Ontario, Canada called police to complain that his dad was trying to get him to brush his teeth against his will.
The dental hygiene dispute was not the only one that Ontario, Canada emergency services were asked to settle in 2012. A woman once called to try to get officers to persuade her drug dealer to stop adding hallucinogens to her crack cocaine.
A cute Canadian three-year-old was once so concerned about the safety of Disney character Lightning McQueen during a high-speed chase with his Cars rival Chick Hicks that he dialed 911.
It seems that 2012 was the year for ridiculous 911 calls in Ontario, Canada. A bemused resident called the emergency services complaining there was a squirrel on his front porch acting in a suspicious manner.
An Ontario, Canada resident also complained to police that she had just been attacked by a duck who was sitting in a puddle watching her. When police arrived they found the uninjured woman and no duck in sight.
In 2012 a Canadian man called 911 to complain that a local weather report said there were “slight flurries” when he was actually driving in a “snowstorm.”
What do you do when you find a squirrel swimming in your toilet? That’s the dilemma that an Oklahoma woman faced in 2010 when she found the furry fiend in her bathroom. Police arrived and chased the critter away.
That was the barmy request of a Florida man who, in November and December 2010, called 911 a combined 16 times. According to ABC News affiliate WFTV, Laurence Gauthier called for various reasons from wanting business cards to his unusual complaint: “I’m looking for TV news to be arrested.”
In 2010 a homeless man dialed 911 to say he was stuck in a hotel hot tub; he was naked and he couldn’t get out because there were no towels. He also requested a hot chocolate with marshmallows and a hug.
That’s just what you need when you’re running for president. Senator John McCain was embarrassed when his brother Joe called 911 back in 2008 to complain he was stuck in traffic.
In 2009 Wisconsin-resident Mary Strey did the honorable thing and called 911 to report a drunk-driver – herself. She told police: “Somebody’s really drunk driving down Granton Road…I am them.”
Dopey 911 calls and marijuana must go hand-in-hand. In May 2013 Jarvis Sutton from St. Petersburg, Florida allegedly called 911 80 times in one day with an unusual shopping list. He wanted Kool-Aid, burgers and weed.
In 2012, Georgia woman Tonya Ann Fowler called 911 to complain that she didn’t like a photo of her that had been published in the local newspaper. It was her police mug shot. She was promptly arrested and, of course, had the chance to take another one.
It seems that Tennessee woman Hee Orama is an alleged serial 911 caller. In 2009 Clarksville police arrested her for allegedly calling repeatedly to say she couldn’t find her car. A week later she supposedly called the emergency service to complain that her boyfriend was lying about marrying her.