NOT YOUR HOMEBOY Bush (Photo: Getty Images)
In 2004, George Bush gave a little talk to the National Association of Home Builders. “For millions of our citizens, the American Dream™… READ ON

GREEN CANDIDATE Obama
• Doob-ious: Barack Obama scores a surge in fundraising. Coincidentally, he clarifies that he stands to decriminalize marijuana.
• Words fail: Bill Clinton, stumping… READ ON

MAD HATTER Spears
• Things not going well: Sources at the UCLA Medical Center say Britney Spears has been classified as “Gravely Disabled” following her spastic entrance into the… READ ON

You’re probably not even going to believe this, but Ann Coulter has gone and said something controversial again. This time: she hates John McCain so much that she’s going to… READ ON

I DON’T KNOW, BUY ANOTHER BLIMP? Paul (Photo: Getty Images)
Presidential fundraising reports for the last quarter of 2007 are now in and Ron Paul kicked every other Republican’s ass.… READ ON

WHATEVER, YOU TRY FINDING ART FOR THIS Yahoo, Clippy
In a surprise move yesterday, Microsoft made a cash-and-stock offer to buy search engine giant Yahoo for $31 a share,… READ ON

HONOR ROLE Bushnell
Sex and the City auteur Candace Bushnell, on hand at an ungodly hour this morning to “cut the ribbon” and launch New York Fashion Week, scored a… READ ON

PEACOCK Ben
Things are not looking good for fans of Friday Night Lights, the show that critics (and us!) love but that no one actually watches. At a launch party… READ ON

O NO, BILL-O O’Reilly
On Thursday, after several strong denials of the existence of homeless U.S. veterans, Bill O’Reilly received a visit from an actual pack of homeless U.S. vets… READ ON

MOB SEEN Paps covering Britney
Though he’s taken pictures of drug wars and hardship around the world, British photographer Nick Stern couldn’t handle snapping Britney Spears. Stern resigned from Splash… READ ON

SPEND IT WISELY Zuckerberg
Lost in the hullabaloo surrounding Microsoft’s surprise $44.6 billion offer for Yahoo was the following statement about the reason for Google’s sluggish earnings report, from cofounder… READ ON

A “rambunctious and fearless posse” of club-wielding women is making life hell for ill-behaving dudes in northern India. Known as “the Pink Gang,” this roving band of women in fashionable… READ ON

SOUND OF NO HANDS CLAPPING Leno
It just keeps getting worse. Jay Leno is still filling his show’s segments with assorted wild animals, and people for some reason continue to… READ ON

AMERICAN GANGSTER Wesley (Photo: Getty Images)
• Snipes acquitted of tax fraud and conspiracy charges: Yeah, seriously. The tax code gambit is known in accountant circles as the 861 … READ ON