WHY DON’T YOU CRY Mean people suck
As part of the ongoing plot by both sides to ensure that Americans get so disgusted by politics that we will cheerfully welcome… READ ON

HITTING THE ROAD? Keyes (Photo: Getty Images)
Brace yourselves, Republicans: presidential candidate Alan Keyes may be leaving the GOP. In a conference call with supporters last night, Keyes is said… READ ON

BAKE-OFF Shields, Rambin (inset) (Photo: Getty Images)
To better prepare for those rather intimate scenes with her Lipstick Jungle hottie house-husband Paul Blackthorne, actress Brooke Shields has been applying shoot-stopping… READ ON

Are you an American? Then you know about the conversation Senator John McCain had with John Kerry back in 2004 about being Kerry’s running mate. Or at least that’s the… READ ON

Warning: If you are a black lady who has a problem with female genital mutilation, you should probably keep your opinions to yourself for the time being. Waris Dirie, a… READ ON

MONEY MATTERS Bush (Photo: Getty Images)
• From Crawford, things look dandy!: After nearly eight fulfilling and effective years in the Oval Office, and fresh on the heels of… READ ON

WHAT NOT TO WEAR Montag (Photo: Getty Images)
• Double launch: Never one to stay out of the spotlight, Hills girl Heidi Montag is launching her own clothing line,… READ ON

TROJAN HORSE Miller
Romeo Miller is an undersized point guard with a bad knee who averaged 8.6 points a game for his basement-dwelling Beverly Hills High School team. Which is… READ ON

As Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean weighs what few options remain for the ballots of potentially disenfranchised voters in Florida, Al Sharpton‘s heading to the state in order to… READ ON

BAD ANGELS? A scene from Kushner’s play
Parents in Illinois are in a panty-twisting tizzy because their high schoolers are reading Tony Kushner‘s Pulitzer-prize winning play Angels in America in… READ ON

At what was the final Gridiron Club dinner of his presidency, President Bush took to the stage this weekend and sang some personalized lyrics to the tune of “Green Green … READ ON

PRECIOUS Ivanka (Photo: Getty Images)
The name “Trump” might as well be a synonym for “vanity,” but young Ivanka, Donald’s 27-year-old, Wharton-educated, mogul-dating daughter, is taking things to a new… READ ON

FIGHT CLUB Feith, Franks (inset)
Despite what you may have heard, former Pentagon official Doug Feith is not the “dumbest motherfucker on the face of the earth,” nor… READ ON

Rumors that MSNBC’s resident conservative, bow tie-wearing hack Tucker Carlson is on his way out the door have been making the rounds since 2006. They’ve now finally come true.… READ ON