IRRATIONAL EXUBERANCE Cruise
When Tom Cruise cuts loose, Tom Cruise cuts loose. The footage of the Top Gun star breaking it down Risky Business-style during an extravagant birthday celebration… READ ON

‘MOM, YOU’RE EMBARRASSING ME!’ Album
• Sour Candy: Madonna has unveiled the cover of Hard Candy. This has really been the week from hell, hasn’t it?
• Invisible Ink… READ ON

FLUSH WITH CASH Mills (Photo: Getty Images)
• Getting a leg up: A judge will rule today on just how much Beatles cash Heather Mills gets from Sir Paul… READ ON

MAC GUYS John Hodgman, Rush
For Rush Limbaugh, a call to tech support will not do (Indian accents? Rush does not do Indian accents). So when his Mac stopped archiving… READ ON

DARK DAYS Spears (Photo: Getty Images)
When Britney Spears is finally off restriction, her BFF will be there. But for the next 30 days, Spears ballcapped former walker Sam Lutfi… READ ON

DRUNK WITH CULTURE Bono, sans makeup, glasses
Today’s celebration of all things Irish is apparently a cause for great aggravation among certain contrarians on the Emerald Isle. Writes one grumpy… READ ON

DON’T ASK WHERE THESE FINGERS HAVE BEEN Dupr&eacute
Spitzer-licker Ashley Alexandra Dupr&eacute has another career option in case her rap video and singing career don’t pan out: a return to… READ ON

“Dear Jim,” a conflicted Mad Money viewer named “Peter” asked loudmouth host Jim Cramer last Tuesday, “Should I be worried about Bear Stearns in terms of liquidity and get… READ ON

TALK ROMANTICALLY TO ME Michaels (Photo: Getty Images)
Formerly splendid white trash slutfest Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels has tragically become a spectacular mess of absolute nothingness and… READ ON

RIDING WITH THE KING? James, Bundchen
The cover of the current issue of Vogue, featuring LeBron James and Gisele Bundchen, is proving controversial with some African Americans. While no one… READ ON

YOU’RE NOT PLAYING ‘THE BITCH IS BACK’ John, Clinton (Photo: Getty Images)
From one diva to another, Sir Elton John has scheduled a one-night-only solo concert for April 9 at… READ ON

A judge has officially ordered former Beatle Paul McCartney to pay his one-legged anti-landmine activist ex-wife Heather Mills $50 million, thus drawing a curtain on one of the more… READ ON

As both Republican operatives and desperate Clintonites seek to tie Barack Obama to the incendiary remarks of pastor Jeremiah Wright, a story making the rounds about Obama’s attendance at one… READ ON

The Vagilante’s invasion of the New York Times is complete! According to today’s paper, the two hedge funds that had amassed 19 percent of The Times Company’s publicly traded… READ ON