Self-styled rebel Alan Keyes should be ashamed of himself.
Dozens of interested politics watchers, including me, tuned to PBS for this week’s Republican debate hoping to hear, in calm tones,… READ ON

• Slash course: A Roxbury, Connecticut, teacher, upon hearing “Welcome to the Jungle” over her school’s loudspeaker after hours, flashes back to 1989 with visions of Morgan Freeeman vehicle… READ ON

• French kiss-off: After five years and 717 shows, International symbol of French Canadianism Celine Dion sings her final power ballad in Las Vegas. Hearts of superfans, including one… READ ON

JANKOFF Paul
Below, excerpts from New York Cassanova Paul Janka’s 17-page book proposal, which he tried and failed to shop to publishers in 2005. You already knew he was a… READ ON

COVERING POPS’ BACKSIDE Giuliani
Take note, bathroom trolls: Though the “wide stance” defense has now been mocked out of viability, an alternative for explaining away your restroom run-ins with the… READ ON

Channeling his father’s opposition to racism in the 1960s, Mitt gets teary-eyed when recalling his feelings the day in 1978 when the Mormon Church finally stopped its official discrimination against… READ ON

SKEE-Z Mix-tape mashery
Much like electroclash, The Strokes, and Williamsburg, Brooklyn, the mash-up was a cringe-inducing fad that defined a few stale months in the early part of our blue-state… READ ON

The New York Fire Department confirms that there has been a chemical explosion involving acid on the 45th floor at 1211 Avenue of the Americas, the headquarters of Fox News… READ ON

Brooklyn-based photographer Noah Kalina, best known for taking a picture of himself every day for six years and turning the resulting montage into one of the most popular YouTube videos… READ ON

HELLO, DES MOINES! Paul
While shattering fundraising expectations and peeing all over the plans of the Republican establishment, Ron Paul supporters have launched a blimp, rocked the mic, and… READ ON

HOMIES Wayne, EfronIn an effort to “reach those suburban white kids like Kanye did,” rapper Lil Wayne has announced that he will be working with shiny-faced pretty boy Zac Efron… READ ON

BLATHER, SPIN, REPEAT Bush soapIf your brother’s in Iraq, your home’s still rotting in New Orleans or you’re currently being waterboarded, do we ever have a Christmas present for you!… READ ON

JAILHOUSE CROCK Francis
“Enough is enough. I am not a criminal,” says Girls Gone Wild meatstick Joe Francis to the New York Times from his jail cell in Reno, where… READ ON

It’s tough to keep tabs on who we’re warring with this month. And let’s face it, the press corps is nursing pretty righteous heinous nog hangovers this morning. Factor in… READ ON