BAG O’ TOYS Becksie Claus• Athletic support: David Beckham dons man panties, shows his amply stuffed stocking in new ads for Emporio Armani undies.
• <a href="http://nymag.com/news/features/41826/”… READ ON

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Spielberg
Steven Spielberg is leaving the studio he helped found 13 years ago, say sources deep inside Viacom.
“He’s gone, and he’s not going to be missed,” one… READ ON

UNMASKED? Romano (Photo: Mike Oates)Radar has learned that NYPD detectives recently questioned New York Post photographer Ron Romano of Staten Island in connection with the Ninja burglaries which have besieged… READ ON

PRETTY IN PINK Johnson (inset) and her $3.6M penthouseShe may be nearly as old as your grandma, but funky fashionista Betsey Johnson still cartwheels down the runway, dyes her hair… READ ON

DEVOLUTION? Winehouse, orc (inset)
It should come as no surprise to the female half of the species to hear that a man secretly prefers a woman who, plastered in makeup,… READ ON

Valleywag has scored photo documentation of the fact that Google co-founder Larry Page did in fact marry an attractive blonde Stanford Ph.D named Lucy Southworth this past weekend. And also… READ ON

LC OUTSOURCED HillsLast night’s “Season Finale” of The Hills was a total non-event. First of all, it wasn’t even the end of Season Three. MTV can’t simply let its… READ ON

For those of you who don’t watch the Today Show , Paul Janka is a Harvard-educated Mystery wannabe who wrote a book called How to Get Laid in New York,… READ ON

RON DMC Prince Paul (Photo: Getty Images)When most people think of Republican musical inclinations, images of Brooks & Dunn or the cheeseball quartet known as the Singing Senators may be… READ ON

BLOODLUST Hanley, Samberg, Dratch, Poehler
Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, Amy Poehler, and several others all made it out to the Ziegfeld Theater Monday night in support of the upcoming release… READ ON

Who knew Obama was such a good showman? First he whipped Oprah out of his sleeve. Next up? Lip synching, Bollywood-style, and showing off his dance moves against a montage… READ ON

MYSTERY GUEST Hopper(Photo: Getty Images)
Art scene veteran, author, and regular Radar contributor Anthony Haden-Guest files dispatches from deep inside the annual Art Basel romp in South Beach.
It was… READ ON

BOW TO EVEL Matt, Knievel (inset) (Photos: Getty Images)
• To the great ER in the sky: Beefy Matthew McConaughey delivered a eulogy for Evel Knievel to mourners in… READ ON

FOOL’S GOLD Paris• <a href="http://www.pagesix.com/story/exclusive+paris+golden+girl” target=”_blank”>Golden showered: Celebutwit Paris Hilton wears nothing but gold body paint in a photo shoot for her new line of champagne, Rich… READ ON