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Bad Education

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"For most students," notes one perceptive San Diego State graduate, "SDSU is just a place to spend those magical seven years that fall between high school and your first job at the warehouse."

To be fair, 58 percent of SDSU's keg-happy attendees actually take a mere six years to graduate. "The students just wanted to get laid or get drunk and party," goes one common complaint. "I felt like only 10 percent of the people were actually there to learn something." But give them a break. According to a "Multilevel Study of College Parties" funded by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism—which evidently deemed SDSU's campus an ideal testing ground—there are as many as 22 bacchanals happening simultaneously on any given night.

The revelry was halted briefly this year when the police broke up a drug ring involving seven fraternities, four pounds of cocaine, 350 ecstasy pills, 50 pounds of marijuana, and four firearms (as well as undisclosed amounts of hallucinogens, hash oil, methamphetamine, and illicit prescription drugs). Seventy-five students were arrested, adding to an already impressive total of 785 drug- and alcohol-related arrests on campus over the past two years. But to anyone familiar with the university's reputation as a scandal factory, the high-profile bust was no surprise. In 2003 a revealing photograph of football players and coaches at a strip club with the handwritten caption "Party Animals" resulted in the resignation of athletic director Rick Bay.

But jocks aren't even the worst offenders. Last year SDSU's toxic Greek culture led to not one but two cocaine fatalities. And in May 2008, Delta Sigma Phi was expelled after three pledges kidnapped and choked a fraternity brother senseless during initiation week. Even the townies get drawn into the depravity. Expect "lots of parties with high school girls" warns a student, referring to the preponderance of "jailbait." "Nearby gangs also join in, so it's good to be careful." To be fair, notes another grad, SDSU does offer a diverse range of recreational options: "You can go to Mexico and get wasted, you can go to the beach and get wasted, or just stay in the city and of course get wasted."

Notable Alumni: Raquel Welch, Mika Tan (porn star), Alison Waite (Playboy playmate), Julie Kavner (voice of Marge Simpson).

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With 22 bars and 15 liquor stores within two miles of campus, an instructor suspected of heading up a major pot-dealing operation, and more hazing incidents than you can shake a paddle at, the only thing Chico State can't claim is a 75-student drug bust.

It is, however, home to Phi Kappa Tau, which was suspended in 2005 for filming hardcore pornography in its fraternity house. The festivities included a game in which a posse of flabby frat boys attempt to toss a ring onto a dildo nestled in a porn star's privates.
 


BAD EDUCATION
Our annual semiscientific guide to the worst colleges in America



HIGHER LEARNING
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CURRICULUM OF DUNCES
America's dumbest college courses



THE DISHONOR ROLL
100 Signs your college isn't prestigious



SMELLS LIKE TEAM SPIRIT
America's saddest college mascots



NAME SHAMES
America's most unfortunately named colleges

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