To the losers go the spoils—just ask these former presidential candidates

TO THE LOSER GO THE SPOILS Barack and Hillary could turn big profits off losing the presidential nomination (Photo: Getty Images)

Why would a candidate with zero chance of winning continue to campaign for the highest office in the land? Beyond idealism, ambition, or a sense of civic duty, perhaps it's because even crushing failure pays big.

Consider former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee. An unknown on the national scene only months ago, the former fatty and statistical no-hoper is now a household name. "No one knew who he was, and now everybody does," says a veteran New York appearance broker for high-profile politicians. "His name recognition is off the charts, and he'll benefit enormously when he ultimately bows out"—gleaning everything from hefty speaking fees to big-time book deals to cushy, no-show consulting gigs. If he has a sense of humor, he could even go the Dole route as an "ironic" pitchman. (Slim-Fast? Beef jerky? The mind reels.)

John Edwards earned $479,512 from Fortress alone—$79,512 more than he would have made had he won the presidencyJohn Edwards' similarly meteoric rise into the national consciousness back in 2004 earned the already wealthy Breck boy a bountiful payday. The sawmill worker's son became an advisor to the hedge fund Fortress, where, by Edwards' own admission, he worked no more than a few days a month. In 2006, he earned $479,512 from Fortress alone—$79,512 more than he would have made had he won the presidency. He earned another $40,000 that same year directing the University of North Carolina's Center on Poverty. The previous year he snagged an $800,000 advance from Rupert Murdoch to write a coffee-table book (granted, $300,000 of it was for expenses).

Nearly all presidential aspirants take advantage of the sterling array of lucrative opportunities awaiting them post-election. Dan Quayle chaired a hedge fund; Newt Gingrich (who never even declared) bellowed his way onto Fox News; Bob Dole endorsed Viagra; Al Sharpton got his own radio show; and Rudy Giuliani played himself in Anger Management, The Out-of-Towners, and Law & Order. (Though Fred Thompson's agent didn't return our calls, we expect the sleepy senator is in far greater cinematic demand nowadays than he was pre-candidacy. Someone has to play the president in all those straight-to-DVD movies.)

In fact, all those opportunities for making bank have even been known to affect how long a candidate stays in the race—and, by extension, keeps his name front and center. "If you're thinking of why someone might stay in longer than he needs to, Huckabee's a good place to start," says the speech broker. But even if Gomer stuck it out for ideological reasons, staying in the hunt certainly hasn't hurt him. As former New York City mayor (and People's Court judge) Ed Koch puts it, "Professionally, he can only prosper."

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This previously dignified senator showed presidential election losers how it's done, leveraging his hard-earned credibility to hawk empty calories (Pepsi), consumer debt (Visa), and chemically induced erections (Viagra).

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Sure, he was once vice president. But the Great Green One's net worth has soared 10,000 percent (now topping $100 million) since his "defeat" in 2000. More recently, he won an Oscar and a Nobel for a college lecture disguised as cinema.

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This wacky fundamentalist blowhard would probably be ranting on a street corner somewhere if he hadn't kept running for president. Laugh all you want, but do you rake in $15,000 every time you give a speech? Were you in Borat?

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Your weird uncle's favorite crypto-facist sage knows that pie-in-the-sky presidential bids are the surest path to five-figure speaking gigs, a string of book deals, and a permanent slot on the cable news pundit circuit.

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Dogged by scandal, Braun dropped out of the Democratic primary in '04, but left with high name recognition among liberals. In '05, she used her crunchy cred to launch Ambassador Organic, a line of "biodynamic" teas, coffees, and spices.

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Although the general (who made an average of $40,000 a year during his military career) didn't get the nod, he walked away with a generous book advance, a contract at Fox News, and salaried board seats at several blue-chip firms.

This article is from the February issue of Radar Magazine. For a risk-free issue, click here.