100 Reasons You're Still Single
(continued)
95. You
are learning to play the bagpipes
76. Can only make love to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones
77. Are infamous among your coworkers for your dead-on Baba Booey impression
78. Own all 24 volumes of Now That's What I
Call Music!
79. Are O.J. Simpson
80.
Have a screensaver of you posing with your Frisbee golf bros
81.
Refuse to drink any beer that hasn't been "beechwood aged"
82. Have cellulite on your face
83.
Refer to yourself as a "vagitarian"
84.
Have a Web shrine devoted to a long-
deceased pet
85. Consider riddles a great way to break the ice
86. Purchase meals solely for their tie-in products
87.
Get visibly angry during Apple vs. PC debates
88. Are known among your girlfriends as
"Heavy Flow"
89. Feel you've found the deeper meaning behind Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"
90. Own all the Matrix novelizations
91.
Raise iguanas
92. Posted your profile on Sean Hannity's
"Hannidate"; are black
93.
Have a "Peeing Calvin" decal on your
hatchback
94. Work at Radar
95.
Are learning to play the bagpipes
96. Don't like Insane Clown Posse's music per se, but think their philosophy is sound
97. Phone in long-distance radio dedications
98.
Posted a Craigslist "Missed Connections" ad to find the kid who groped you on the subway
99. Believe the mouth is self-cleaning
100. Have had something on your face since
the late '90s |
 |
This article is from the September issue of Radar magazine. Click here to get a risk-free issue.
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