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100 Reasons You're Still Single

(continued)

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95. You are learning to play the bagpipes

76. Can only make love to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones

77. Are infamous among your coworkers for your dead-on Baba Booey impression

78. Own all 24 volumes of Now That's What I Call Music!

79. Are O.J. Simpson

80. Have a screensaver of you posing with your Frisbee golf bros

81. Refuse to drink any beer that hasn't been "beechwood aged"

82. Have cellulite on your face

83. Refer to yourself as a "vagitarian"

84. Have a Web shrine devoted to a long- deceased pet

85. Consider riddles a great way to break the ice

86. Purchase meals solely for their tie-in products

87. Get visibly angry during Apple vs. PC debates

88. Are known among your girlfriends as "Heavy Flow"

89. Feel you've found the deeper meaning behind Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"

90. Own all the Matrix novelizations

91. Raise iguanas

92. Posted your profile on Sean Hannity's "Hannidate"; are black

93. Have a "Peeing Calvin" decal on your hatchback

94. Work at Radar

95. Are learning to play the bagpipes

96. Don't like Insane Clown Posse's music per se, but think their philosophy is sound

97. Phone in long-distance radio dedications

98. Posted a Craigslist "Missed Connections" ad to find the kid who groped you on the subway

99. Believe the mouth is self-cleaning

100. Have had something on your face since the late '90s








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This article is from the September issue of Radar magazine. Click here to get a risk-free issue.
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