WARNING: The following men have been known to cause extreme discomfort, mental anguish, anxiety, and nausea. Do not take internally

The following is an excerpt from the March/April issue of Radar, on newsstands now. To get a risk-free copy of the print magazine delivered to your doorstep, click here!

They used to be called cads, or playboys, or Kennedys—randy skirt-chasers who could be trusted to mind their manners and get their girls home by 11 p.m., even if they sometimes left them with a mild burning sensation. Jack Nicholson, the patron saint of this brotherhood, claims to have bedded an estimated 2,000 women in his lifetime. And at 69, he's still going strong. "In terms of age," he bragged to Rolling Stone in 2006, "you could say that over the last year, I've probably covered the territory from 21 to 61."

But lately, a new strain of scoundrel is on the prowl—one that shares all of Jack's oversize appetites and little of his lethal charm. You can find these Don Juans locked in bathrooms at Bungalow 8, hotel-hopping in St. Barth's, or, if they're really dedicated, forcing beauty queens to belly dance in desert sex compounds. Generally over 30, defiantly single, and immune to public ridicule, they use fame, power, and expensive sailing vessels to pursue their quarry, only to leave heartbreak and paternity suits in their wake. Call them lotharios, womanizers, or heartless bastards—just don't expect them to call you back.

---

COLIN FARRELL
Age: 30
Occupation: Actor
Notable Assets: Gaelic brogue; smoldering gaze; Marlboro breath

"When I come to town, I [bleep] everything I can"Farrell burst onto the scene as one of the hardest-partying bad boys to hit Hollywood since Jack himself: smoking, drinking, cursing, trashing, and screwing anything he could focus on long enough before passing out. Since his arrival stateside, he's worked his way through the young and trashy set, from Paris to Britney to Lindsay, and a battery of models, including one who bore him a son. As he told W magazine, "When I come to town I [bleep] everything I can." On the set of Alexander, Farrell—or "Cock-Out Colin" as he was affectionately known—famously showed Rosario Dawson the trailer door when pouty-lipped sex priestess Angelina Jolie turned up hungry for fresh meat. Yet for all his dirty deeds, he comes off like a teddy bear. On his sex tape with Playmate Nicole Narain, for example, Farrell describes her vagina as a "beautiful little flower" and lays on the Irish sweet-talk: "If a fucking camera could blush it would be fucking red because you are so fucking pretty." Due to archaic bylaws, the performance cannot be considered by the Academy.