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Pretty BoyOne Radar staffer gets the full man makeover
I'm no Brad Pitt. That much I'm willing to admit. I'll never have that bone structure, that torso, that hair or those eyes. But I'm also no George Wendt.
I take care of myself as much as a man with an aversion to sex with other men can be expected. I don't shape my eyebrows but I keep the unsightly hairs determined to bridge the gap between them at bay. I exercise a few times a month. Not often enough to really matter but not so rarely that I'm sore for 12 days afterward. And I generally shave once a week. All of this is to say, I always thought I was doing a decent enough job of curating my appearance. Then along came my co-workers, arguing that I was the best candidate to under-go some absurd embarrassment we'd been calling the "full man makeover" using an assortment of new male grooming products and services that, added together, amount to the bread of butter of quasi-journalists—a first person trend story. They'll say I was singled out because I'm the only person in the office willing to publicly humiliate himself like this. I'll say it's because they're dicks. Either way, I figure now's the time to announce that I only went through with this horrible charade as a denouement to my time here at Radar. Which is to say, I quit! 
Let me guess, this was originally Balk's assignment, but the insurance people wouldn't cover his visit to the eyebrow groomer? Posted by: IBentMyWookie on September 12, 2008 12:12 AM STFU, Wookie. I could have never brought the grace and class to this that K-Ray did. Also the ceaseless bitching afterward. Posted by: Balk on September 12, 2008 12:17 AM I'd hit at least a few localized areas of that. Posted by: Hez on September 12, 2008 12:18 AM $300+ and your berries are still wolfy? As a lady person, I would recommend a reallocation of funds from big head to little head grooming. Posted by: secondhandliving on September 12, 2008 1:37 AM Advertisement Amazing. Posted by: lianumber5 on September 12, 2008 9:16 AM So good, though "Punch her in the tit" was a bit crazy, but funny! Can't wait to read some women comment on the low self esteem thing, gonna be great! Posted by: yoko on September 12, 2008 9:20 AM I have hit this. It was awesome. Posted by: Ethier on September 12, 2008 11:23 AM Hot look Adam. I think there's a high-paying job waiting for you dancing on the bar at New York's gay mecca, Splash, Posted by: Bellboy on September 12, 2008 12:47 PM This whole exercise was a tremendous waste of time. Posted by: Swifter on September 12, 2008 1:32 PM way to ruin the party Swifter! Where's Sailor to kick some swiffer ass?! Posted by: yoko on September 15, 2008 3:13 PM Cute guy, but If I saw him out I'd assume he was gay. Posted by: Karen Patterson on September 17, 2008 11:02 AM Absolutely Fabullous! Now bend over..... Posted by: newportjoey on September 19, 2008 5:57 PM Pretty now funny that's hard. --BOKO Posted by: BOKO on September 21, 2008 4:32 PM ...RADAR SAYS: "My treatment (that's what they call these things at Martial Vivot) began with a hair wash and skull massage from a handsome, long haired, vaguely European fellow. Once I got past the fact that another man was softly caressing my head and gently rubbing my ear lobes, I was able to relax and enjoy.".. Just because that guy where trade like a PERSON,don't confuse excellency with "soft" ... Do you think elephants don't forget???... Fuck around with Cubans and you will learn the meaning of "long term,and painful revenge" Posted by: fukaround on October 22, 2008 1:42 AM < BACK TO Features |
    
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