Everything you need to know about the R. Kelly sex trial

Stop us if you've heard this one before: Sometime between January 1998 and October 2000, in a wood-paneled and jacuzzied room of an Illinois mansion, a girl age 13 to 15 is filmed in sundry sex acts with a man thought to be one of the planet's most prominent R&B icons. The girl featured in the tape provides the man a full-service fellating, for which she is rewarded with a face covered in ... urine. And afterward, ejaculate.

The case has it all: a look-alike brother who refuses to be the fall guy; an underage tart claiming to have once double-teamed R. Kelly with the video's alleged victim; an ill-tempered, media-averse judge; a rabid woman nursing dashed R&B dreams and gunning for the accused; and moreThe infamous video—which surfaced in 2002 behind a story exposing the same man's history of pursuing underage girls—led to 21 counts of child pornography for R. Kelly, the R&B icon in question. Since then, and despite his unshakable reputation as a sexual predator with a penchant for the Miley Cyrus set, the singer has kept on keeping on, writing and producing records, selling out concerts, and, in the process, floating his way through the six years since being charged. He's become a rolling punchline as beloved on the charts as he is reviled in polite conversation. Notes the New York Times: "If anything, his raunchiest songs got even more outlandish in the years after the report broke; what else could fans do but shrug and grin and sing along?"

But that may all come to an end on Friday, May 9, when the State of Illinois vs. Robert Sylvester Kelly is expected to begin in Chicago. It will certainly be an international spectacle. After all, beyond the peculiar savant on trial, the characters in this saga are as intricately—and humorously—cast as the artist's most ingeniously created masterworks: a look-alike brother unwilling to take the fall in exchange for cash and a recording contract; an underage tart claiming to have double-teamed R. Kelly with the video's alleged victim; an ill-tempered, media-averse judge; a woman nursing dashed R&B dreams and gunning for the accused ... it's a lot to take in. We want to help. Here, then, is Radar's field guide to the R. Kelly sex trial—all the players you'll need to know before the King of R&B gets his day in court.