Their moment is over. Finally. They got more than they deserved, considering that Millennials outnumber them by nearly 50 million. There are more of us Millennials than there were Baby Boomers! We threaten to overshadow everything Generation X fought so hard for. Like Adam Sandler movies and extreme sports.
I'm sorry Time made fun of your generation. But, guys, it's Time. Don't worry about it—we Millennials made it irrelevant. We're killing print!The problem isn't just with us, Gen Xers insist. It's our parents, the boomers. They coddled us. Told us we were special. Turned us all into entitled brats with overinflated senses of self-importance. Is this any more annoying than, say, a generation of depressive praise junkies desperate for anyone's approval? No one ever told Generation X they loved them! Cry us the muddy banks of the Wishkah.
Are our parents even the boomers? If we were born between 1982 and 2002, aren't we the children of late boomers and early disaffected Gen Xers? My dad was born in 1961. My mom is younger. If I understand demographics and biology correctly, it's Generation X who are currently filling brownstones with status-symbol stroller-filler. We haven't finished enjoying hookup culture yet and you guys are pricing us out of two boroughs. If there's a coddled nation of brats on the way, I'm guessing it's the one Gen Xers are preparing in their Park Slope laboratories.
Then there's the story of Kevin Colvin, the young man who skipped out on work one day to get fucked up at a Halloween party. Colvin claimed he had a "family emergency" in New York. His asshole boss at Boston's Anglo Irish Bank, Paul Davis, discovered otherwise when he dug around on Colvin's Facebook profile and found an incriminating photo of Colvin dressed as a fairy. A fairy! This supposedly represents everything wrong with my generation. We post photos of parties we attend on the Internet. While we should be working!
"They think updating a spreadsheet while simultaneously posting to a Twitter account about the latest gossip on perezhilton.com is an essential corporate skill," Lanham insists. "And, like Kevin, they're always doing stupid shit, but rarely getting called on it." To the contrary, Millennials are the first generation whose every dumb mistake is archived forever on computer networks. We're the first Googleable generation! (Just ask Kevin Colvin, who, unless he changes his name, will have to carry around this minor indiscretion forever.)
Gen Y's permanent records are instantly accessible by anyone and everyone with a MacBook. Or a smart phone. Maybe it's healthier that way. I certainly don't love the culture of microblogging every 40-ounce consumed, but I'll entertain the controversial opinion that it's not the end of the world. It may, in fact, make Millennials less screwed up about navigating social spheres. You won't find us wringing our hands about the dissolving borders between public and private life. We've never differentiated between the two. Yes, we overshare. But we also don't drop our monocles every time someone updates their Facebook relationship status.
Lanham describes snooping boss Paul Davis is a sort of Gen X hero. What does it say when cool, proudly anticorporate Gen Xers empathize more with the boss at a Boston Bank over the kid who played hooky from work to get wasted at a Halloween party? Didn't you guys think Ferris Beuller was a revolutionary moment in cinema because your smug slacker hero talked to the camera while skipping school? (Which reminds me—thanks, guys, for keeping Ben Stein employed.)
Is that unfair? Let's examine your great cultural statements:
Reality Bites, a generation of dudes whose primary goal in life was to sleep with Winona Ryder, Singles, Encouraging Cameron Crowe, Airheads, Empire Records, grunge, alt-rock. (Years later, none of us are entirely sure why anyone claimed to enjoy the sounds Eddie Vedder makes.) Perry Ferrell. Christ, what were drugs even made of in the 1990s?
Jock Jams: The first ironic '80s revival. Inventing false nostalgia for shit that sucked in the first place. The Wedding Singer, the young adult regression into a childhood of cheaply produced cartoons and eight-bit video games.
Steve Buscemi, Michael Jordan. Okay, we'll give you those two. But look what you did to Ben Stiller.
I'm sorry Time made fun of your generation. But, guys, it's Time. Don't worry about it—we Millennials made it irrelevant. We're killing print! You think we want Morley Safer calling us the Next Greatest Generation? We don't know who Morley Safer is!
Our optimism is every bit as ignorant as your cynicism is lazy. We think the government is on our side, and that elected officials have our best interests at heart. We will be beaten down, don't worry. We just haven't been yet"Still," you claim, "it's never been sexy to be a Gen Xer." Are you serious? Need we repeat the Winona Ryder thing? You guys got all the cool traits! Disaffection! Nihilism! Cynicism! Ironic distance! People just keep calling us idealistic. There is nothing sexy about idealism. And you guys have been laying this trip on us forever. In 1997, the Times looked at Mentos and Hanson and called us "edgeless." They dragged out Generation X rep Douglas Coupland to call us all uncool for liking the Spice Girls. We were little kids! Sorry I wasn't an edgy 12-year-old, Doug! I wasn't into Built to Spill yet!
As we grow up, it continues. According to the Washington Post, we're "collegial." And "Millennials, more than their elders, believe that U.S. political institutions will deal effectively with concerns the nation will face in the future." We're "sociable, optimistic, talented, well-educated, collaborative, open-minded, influential, and achievement-oriented."
Which does all sound like bullshit, I'll admit. Our optimism is every bit as ignorant as your cynicism is lazy. We think the government is on our side, and that elected officials have our best interests at heart. We will be beaten down, don't worry. We just haven't been yet.
I canvassed my ass off for John Kerry—John Kerry!—in 2004, the first presidential election I was legal to vote in. I volunteered with a bunch of sociable, open-minded Millennials to drive out from New York to Ohio to register college students and get out the vote in youth-heavy counties. We lost. It sucked. So it remains to be seen whether we'll retreat into our navels and allow the angry old man to win this next November. But if we don't, I don't want to hear another complaint from Generation X. (We're sorry, we don't like your Clintons.)
Finally, if you're doing the math (and the dates are arbitrary, I know), then the oldest of the Millennials is barely even out of college. And already, I promise you, saddled with the amount of debt it took our parents years to carefully accrue and facing a recession you did nothing to stave off. Most of us will never be able to afford the houses we grew up in—there aren't jobs anymore! People keep calling us the first generation that will do worse than its parents. We have to make it up as we go along, and you guys are certainly no help with your seething resentment. You all just went to work at banks so you could fire us when we took personal days. Way to fight the system, bros.
Don't get me wrong. I think we're fucked. I think we'll be selling our plasma to buy our parents the futuristic drug cocktails that will allow them to live to be 200 years old. But the rest of my generation is a bit more hopeful, and I'm willing to see how it pans out. When we run out of oil and the rich finally begin hunting the poor not merely for sport but for sustenance, you may laugh at our naivety. But it will be your fault.
You never had dreams, but you betrayed them anyway, and now we get to clean up after everyone's mess. You pissed away the last vestiges of America's Great Society; we got to do anal in high school.
Posted by: murgatroid on May 20, 2008 9:31 PM
A few things - I'll try to be brief:
First, I love pricing you out. I love it. Kiss the bedbugs in McKibbin for me tonight. Second, you totally drop your monocles (or whatever you've put on your face) when people change their Facebook status - you brought back OMG, for God's sake! And your DUDES say and write it! Jesus, have a little dignity.
Last, don't be blaming us for Stiller - Stiller done did that to hisself.
Posted by: chuckybrown on May 21, 2008 8:53 AM
we are killing print? we kill things?
Posted by: googly on May 21, 2008 10:09 AM
Since when are you Millenials marketing bands that have been around since the late 90s to us X-ers? I think we found the Elephant 6 bands--good, bad, and mediocre--on our own.
Posted by: Hailey Eber on May 21, 2008 10:19 AM
You wasted time canvassing for John Kerry? Your generation really is screwed, Pareene.
And I say that as somebody who hates Bush.
Posted by: HaHaSound on May 21, 2008 10:39 AM
You'll never afford the houses you grew up in? You're parents pay your damn rent, for chrissake!
Posted by: teambooberry on May 21, 2008 11:01 AM
It's the same argument the boomers make. We're not optimistic enough. Hell, we're just realistic. When I'm handing out Camels like candy to all of the homeless on Belmont, when the crazies inhabit the CTA, I almost feel like it's the '80s again. Long live Reagan and his stupidity. I think the Millennials would have liked him. Obama does!
FYI - it's not OK. The world is not going well. What is wrong with acknowledging it? I don't think it's very fixable either. I think that's why we like the Wire so much.
Posted by: ack on May 21, 2008 11:16 AM
nice. wand. *cough*
Posted by: asdf on May 21, 2008 11:49 AM
Gen X also produced Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
You're welcome.
Posted by: korainhell on May 21, 2008 12:19 PM
It makes sense you "don't like [our] Clintons." The Clintons are the only Democrats since LBJ to get into the White House and actually get shit done, leaving the country in better shape after they left office. Now you're getting played like a fiddle by a boomer who's crafted his rhetoric to be the equivalent of unicorns and pixie dust: hope! Change! Let's try to get a game of pick-up on the iCal with Ahmadinejad! We've read the labeling on the Clintons, and we don't care about high levels of craftiness or devious scheming: they're politicians, not day-care workers. After the election, watch your credit card statement from a charge from "Oprah's President of 2008 Club." The beyotch *will* bill you.
That's where Xers and Millennials really differ: we smelled bullshit at your age. You couldn't wrap it in a rainbow and peddle it as CHANGE. We called people on it - just like Paul Davis called Tinkerbell on it.
Hey, Obama: cool wand.
Posted by: netizenkane on May 21, 2008 12:51 PM
Alex is one of those twiggysexual Gawker twerps (you know, those immaculately attired handbag swingers wracked with barely suppressed East Coast envy), so his skills set involves more snark than substance. He sounds like he's still smarting from the spanking administed by his cool Uncle Rob.
It's OK, Alex. Have a Holdredge Wren Hop Pinot Noir lollipop. Are we still BFFs?
Posted by: murgatroid on May 21, 2008 1:07 PM
Point the Finger and Pass the Blame! This is truly everybodys favorite game to play! You want to talk about Change, here's a fresh idea how about we ALL take responsiblity for our actions... oh and don't worry fellow Millennials this goes for the Gen Xers as well. The country is in bad shape and I refuse to turn a blind eye to that, but its not as if this is entirely on us. Of course considering the youth vote sucks we certainly aren't helping. Then again if were not voting who is? Maybe we should focus less on our differences and focus on the fact that our country is in a bad place and fighting over who's responsible is stupid and immature. Oh and by the way the Clintons just happened to stumple into a great economic time for our country, if you want to credit someone with that, you can thank Alan Greenspan.
Posted by: LeeHarvey on May 21, 2008 1:14 PM
"People keep calling us the first generation that will do worse than its parents. "
Us Gen-Xers got the same thing back in the 90s. It'll be true for both our generations.
Posted by: ctheokas on May 21, 2008 2:17 PM
"People keep calling us the first generation that will do worse than its parents. "
Uh, no. X has been hearing that one for years. Sorry, try again.
And as for electing "stiff old Baby Boomers", who the hell were we gonna try to put into office, someone our own age? Someone who would have been, max, 31 in 1992? You make some valid points here Alex, but that one is just retarded. Besides, Clinton gave us 8 freakin' years of peace and prosperity. I'd campaign for that horny old bastard all over again.
Posted by: louveciennes on May 21, 2008 5:12 PM
Are both articles supposed to be self-parodies? I´m something of a bridge between both generations, but on the one hand we have the Gen X-er complaining about not being relevant when he´s the one coming into power and run popular culture for QUITE some time . . . and on the other we have the jumpy, half-illiterate Millenial who makes a joke about missing cultural references that they actually get. What´s the point about bitching about an artificial division that means nothing?
I like Pearl Jam, I hate Soulja Boy, I think that music of all times has merit. I think that people should stand on their own. What a bogus set of articles.
Posted by: kluivertus on May 21, 2008 7:48 PM
Man, you are self-important. How's that attitude working for you?
Posted by: generationXpert on May 22, 2008 6:56 AM
re: kluivertus "what a bogus set of articles"
i couldn't disagree more. both are full of funny, insightful truth -- smart but in many ways also sad. i agree gen x was neglected, shat on; i agree the millenial (hate the name, btw) is naive, pampered.
i think both writers agree on that; the difference is who's to blame, and this is when they both, in the end, get it wrong -- the people who are to blame aren't your parents or your kids or the media or whoever. it's ourselves. it always is.
in any case, kudos to lanham and preene for some thought-provoking, humorous and, most importantly, spot-on cultural writing.
this coming from, according to the first article's cut-off for generational delineation, something of an in-betweener: i was born in 1982.
i did enjoy your use of the word "bogus" though, kluivertus. i'm guessing this means you're a gen x-er? or just a millenial with retro vocab?
Posted by: yellowredneck on May 23, 2008 3:51 PM
I thought we were called "Gen X" for all the ecstasy we did in the late 80's, early 90's? Guess not!
I think we're ALL fucked and actually glad the millennial are still optimistic as we're definitely going to need that optimism as both generations are stuck cleaning up the mess the Boomer's have left us...
it's time for the Boomer's to get off stage AND the Gen Xer's and Millennial's are just going to have to suck it up and share it for awhile...SWEEET!
Posted by: EricCartman on May 23, 2008 9:25 PM
The wonderful thing about Pareene's generation is their capacity to commercialize punk to the point that it's the soundtrack for Mountain Dew and Twinkies...
Cobain has really missed out on the culturally trenchant millies.
Fortunately, Pareene will do fabulously well selling snark after he graduates High School.
Posted by: zubin on May 23, 2008 11:00 PM
exclamation points, yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: einstein133 on May 24, 2008 12:16 AM
great article. all these xers who commented before are ACTUAL haters. they prolly don't know what a hater is. totally agree. go back to your basement and put on some plaid, listen to eddie fahking vedder, and be depressed. ps, reading all these comments just proved your piece even further. jeeeeeeeeeeze, chill out. so jaded and angry.
Posted by: dontdoit on May 25, 2008 2:11 PM
Someday the author of this artice will be lamenting the excesses of Generation Z and beyond. It is silly to worry about the cycle of Teen angst/Adult Pessimism that defines generations. There is no greatest generation... we all do what we can with the cards we are dealt.
Posted by: hurrikan on May 26, 2008 11:52 AM
kluivertus said it best--a bogus set of articles. About a generational conflict that doesn't exist. A generation doesn't *own* the music or movies that is produced during their coming-of-age, and it is absolutely ridiculous to feel superior or inferior based on what was popular during your adolescence.
How the hell was gen x so damn neglected in a way in which gen y is not? and How are the millenials (who, if anything, got neglected by that shitty fucking name) so damn pampered? Because Morley Safer speaks well of us? Thanks a fucking lot but I still think we're pretty fucked.
These generalizations are so stupid, and will ultimately achieve nothing. Are the millenials optimistic? I fall into that age group and, unless it's different in America, lots of the people i talk to fit all the characteristics bestowed upon Gen X--cynicism, hopelessness, jaded...isn't that pretty much just a teenage thing? Doesn't it depend on the individual?
I'm with Hurrikan--we do what we can with what we get. There is no great generational consensus on anything. You all didn't get together in a lab and make Pearl Jam and I sure as fuck had no hand in the popularization of Soulja Boy. (Surely there is a better representative of today's music than THAT, but still, one cannot blame the death of the radio on a bunch of fucking teenagers with no say in the industry.) Your parents got freaky in the 70s and ours in the 80s (or however it's divided, as the times always seem to be vague). What the fuck is the difference?
Posted by: Lindiglo on May 26, 2008 9:04 PM
That said, the hipster handbook was mad deck. I loved it. but what the cock.
Posted by: Lindiglo on May 26, 2008 9:06 PM
I thought a generation was at least 20-25 year difference. To me, someone who is 23 could be my much younger brother/sister, not my kid. I guess I'm sorta in the middle--born in '75.
It's all so silly, really.
Posted by: nyrstein on May 27, 2008 11:33 PM
i don't know or care if it's generational but Parenne himself has zero class. Given a paycheck and a platform by this website not one week ago, he bites the hand that feeds him with one of those poorly written, unfunny RADAR R.I.P. posts on gawker. Yes, it's from a Portfolio article, and yes, it's no big deal, but it's just funny how Radar always is magnanimous giving gawker blogger after blogger work--there've been like four or five now, and they all turn in very sub par work IYO--even though all of them have gleefully called for its demise. So lame.
Posted by: yoko on May 27, 2008 11:59 PM
Ir's just a way to fuel our desperate need for connectivity and voice. When you register, your e-mail address becomes a junk mail repository. I am a sucker for registering. Over and OUT!
Posted by: nyrstein on May 28, 2008 9:30 PM
Yeah, ummm, all that technology that allows you to be perpectually plugged in? I believe much of that is courtesy of the people you are slagging on.
And also, it might not hurt to look at whatever is in front of you and consider that for a nanosecond.
Posted by: herzco on May 31, 2008 2:56 PM
Nothing wrong with Pareene that three years in the 3rd Infantry Division wouldn't cure.
Posted by: Edward McBragg on May 31, 2008 6:37 PM
It was Gen Y porn stars that made ATM popular. If you want to wear that badge proudly, please, by all means...
Posted by: KdNicewanger on June 1, 2008 3:05 PM
Why does everyone keep forever linking our generation to the early 90's? Was I supposed to peak at age 16? Gen X did not die with Kurt Cobain. It just evolved and moved on. Generation X is much more than grunge and winona, it's kevin smith, irvine welsh, robbie williams, gorillaz, foo fighters, red hot chili peppers, jennifer lopez, ewan mcgregor, the hour, liam gallager, tiesto, ferry corsten, armin van buuren, paul van dyk, gael garcia bernal, kylie, jenna jameson, the fight club, coldplay, shakira, metric, transformers, will smith, list goes on. Gen X is alive and kicking and not going away anytime soon.
Posted by: RegioCanMex on June 16, 2008 2:01 AM
i cannot stop laughing. god bless you twerpy annoying hilarious young things. that sounds so grandma-ish, but who cares. fucking hilarious. well done. you're right, and it hurts: we had our decade, and we wasted it.
Posted by: vneck on June 28, 2008 2:40 AM
The knee-jerk cynicism of Generation X has blossomed into full-on bitterness.
If GenY can rise above it, we might actually have a future.
Give us hell, Alex.
Good luck running the world.
Posted by: michaelduff on June 30, 2008 8:47 PM
Judging by all the exclamation marks, we Generation Xers have nothing to fear so long as we, and the people older than us, who learned how to write are still making the calls.
And, yes, we will take great pleasure in torturing you for the next 40 years as you try to figure out how to earn an income in our world.
Posted by: jreddish on July 2, 2008 2:34 AM
uh yeah, that was kinda boring. you're right. being a millenial is not sexy.
btw, it would be great if millenials voted in obama. if only millenials voted in enough numbers to register on the radar...
Posted by: lambiepie on July 7, 2008 11:40 PM
Wow. I had no idea my children were "status-symbol stroller-filler."