(continued)

THE CLASSIC "SAM ZELL WON'T WEAR A CONDOM" DREAM
Sam Zell and I are in my grandma's room. He's being really smoochie and his weird white beard is scratchy, but he's generally pretty nice and respectful. But when it comes down to actually having sex, I'm like, "Hey, go get a condom." He refuses, claiming he's "too old" for that.

"That's exactly why you have to! You've probably had sex with tons of people because you've been alive for so long!"

"Just because I'm rich doesn't mean I have AIDS," he says.

This pisses me off.

"I didn't say you had AIDS. But there are tons of other STDs that I don't want to get. Plus, hello, I don't want to get pregnant."

And then he starts cursing, but not really at me, more just in general—like I said, respectful—and offers to wear this weird old-timey contraption thing, which I deem unsanitary, so we decide to just hang out. Then he offers to buy my blog, but I tell him I'll have to ask my boss.
—Female, 25, Chicagoan (we don't think that has anything to do with this dream)

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THE DREAM THAT MEANS YOU'RE GAY
Ryan Seacrest and I are hanging out with mutual friends in L.A., having a great time riding around in someone's Hummer limo and drinking champagne.
It's clear that Ryan is really into me. He keeps touching my leg, kissing me behind the ear, but I just couldn't reciprocate. I knew Ryan could give me a really nice life, what with his billion-dollar bank account and all, but I really didn't want to go on a date with him.

Finally, at the end of the night, when it's clear nothing is going to happen between us, Ryan picks me up, kisses me full on the lips (I return it—why not?) and says, "If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."
—Female, 27, insists Seacrest is not "her type"

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THE "JAY LENO LOVES YOU, HE JUST SHOWS YOU IN A DIFFERENT KIND OF WAY" DREAM
I'm in a supermarket that only sells celebrity-endorsed foods. I am oddly struck by Jay Leno's new product line, "Jay Leno With Love," mainly because his selection is so tiny, featuring only "Jay Leno With Love" macaroni and "Jay Leno With Love" bottled water.

Later, while pondering powdered-soup packages, the store's P.A. system announces that Hillary Clinton has single-handedly sold the most soup in America that day. This touches me deeply and I burst into tears.
—Male, 45, deeply interested in branding