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GIRL WITH THE LEAST CAKE Courtney Love hits the beach

2007 Resolution: "Try this 'thin' anthropoligical experiment—get to my goal weight healthily and stay there."

The Verdict: As her lips continued to grow, the rest of Love continued to shrink, all part of her "anthropoligical" plan to slim down and stay relevant. In the September issue of Harper's Bazaar, the 43-year-old credited colonics and fasting with getting her to 139 pounds (a number as believable as Kurt's suicide note), and said, "I hate reading magazines where the actresses are saying, 'Broccoli and fish, broccoli and fish.'" Better to talk about one's colonics. And better to be photographed as a bikini grotesquerie than not at all. This was one of 50 resolutions Love posted on her website. Others include "becom[ing] a women [sic] of limitless self esteem," "dont go to nightclubs with 19 year olds," "learn an Asian language," and "chant for Hillary to win."

FULLY LOADED Michelle Rodriguez and SCRAM bracelet

2007 Resolution: "To keep my mouth shut!"

The Verdict: Maybe Rodriguez was resolving to end her dirty-mouthed ways, but more likely she was pledging to imbibe no longer. She was just one of several celebs to sport the accessory of the year: the SCRAM, better known as a fugly tattletale anklet. To her credit, the Lost actress didn't let it keep her down. She wore it proudly to a Marc Jacobs fashion show and, according to the L.A. City Attorney's office, "admitted violating her probation by ... consuming alcohol three times while wearing an alcohol-monitoring device." When she reported for a six-month jail sentence on December 23 for violating probation from a DUI, she extended a lengthy rap sheet. Though she'll likely be sprung early due to prison overcrowding, the woman who once told People, "I'm a gypsy. I can see beauty in a jail cell," has the time; her next film, the intergalactic James Cameron thriller Avatar doesn't premiere till December 2009.

THE IDLE AND ONLY QUASI-FAMOUS Jennifer Finnegan(Photo: Getty images)

2007 Resolution: "To stop overscheduling myself."

The Verdict: We'll be honest here. We're not sure who Finnegan is, but given her daytime ubiquity, your aunt might be. Either way, the woman who won three Emmys for playing hottie serial dater Bridget Forrester on TBATB and who didn't win any for playing hottie prosecutor Annabeth Chase on CBS's canceled Close to Home saw her resolution end in resounding success. Mainly, her newly cleared schedule involved watching the work she had done in 2006 play out onscreen. The second half of the second season of Close to Home aired, as did her one recent guest spot on USA's The Dead Zone. In her defense, she may have anticipated staying busy planning her June wedding to Jonathan Silverman in Greece. Yes, that Jonathan Silverman. And, of course, there was the honeymoon at Bernie's. No? Yes.