(continued)

3) PLAQUEPRO

PRICE: $2.50

WHO'S GETTING IT: The guy in the cubicle next to you with really bad halitosis.

THE LOWDOWN: Ever lamented the fact that you spend far too much time each day brushing your teeth? Maybe if you could somehow figure out a way to shave 15 to 20 seconds off the burdensome twice-a-day hygienic ritual, your productivity would rise and you'd accomplish things you never thought possible.

Enter the PlaquePro—a "toothbrush with a unique perpendicular head that can simultaneously brush the upper and lower sets of teeth," thus reducing a person's daily mouth-cleaning time by an astounding "10 to 20" percent! Think about it: With one efficient stroke, clean both your upper and bicuspids! Think about it some more: Shouldn't that technically reduce brushing time by 50 percent? How the hell does the unwieldy head reach your back molars? Is brushing your teeth really something you want to preserve precious seconds on? Ten out of 10 ADA-approved dentists call bullshit.

WHERE TO BUY: unseenontv.com

---

4) THE SNAP JACK

PRICE: $4.95

WHO'S GETTING IT: Breakfast lovers with severely poor motor skills.

THE LOWDOWN: Gone are the days when consuming the fluffy pancakes your mother whipped up on Christmas first required procuring such hard-to-find utensils as a fork. With the Snap Jack (endorsed by the Queen Bee of brain-dead cuisine, Rachel Ray), cutting up flapjacks into bite-size morsels is as easy as one, two, three: Simply apply firm downward pressure on the Snap Jack and watch as it effortlessly cuts through the stack of steaming hot pancakes. Then stab yourself in the neck with the butter knife that you should have used for the task in the first place.

WHERE TO BUY: unseenontv.com