Which celebrity shillers should quit their day job?

As awards season approaches and "serious films" (i.e., Rendition, Things We Lost in the Fire, Martian Child, etc.) hit the theaters, Radar examines the stars who are shining brighter off the big screen and hitting pay dirt in an advertisement near you. Below, comparisons of critical responses to their real "work" and their part-time shillery.

Scarlett Johansson

As an actress, ScarJo peaked with 2003's Lost In Translation. Her first collaboration with Woody Allen, Match Point, wasn't bad either. But since then, it's been a slow slide downhill. Key low points along the way include a Michael Bay movie, The Island, and this year's The Nanny Diaries. Luckily, although her acting career may be petering out, Miss Jo has a string of lucrative endorsements. She followed up her gig as Coppola ingénue with work for Calvin Klein fragrance, L'Oréal, Reebok, and Louis Vuitton.

CRITICAL COMMENTS
"Scarlett Johansson channels Grace Kelly and Marilyn Monroe."
—jossip.com on her Louis Vuitton ads

"Scarlett Johansson, trying to give the material a plausible emotional center, looks merely confused."
—David Denby, The New Yorker, on her work in The Nanny Diaries

FINAL JUDGEMENT
She's a pretty face and a hot bod, for sure, but lately it's hard to buy what she's selling in her big-screen roles.

Justin Long

Unbeknownst to many, the Mac dude also attempts to have a career as an actor in film and television. Along with ScarJo, he's currently shooting He's Just Not That Into You, and people almost noticed him earlier this year in Live Free or Die Hard.

CRITICAL COMMENTS
"What so distinguishes these performances is how the two interact—affably and respectfully, in spite of the central premise. Long is cool not because he's ultrahip but because he's laid-back and confident, minus any trace of condescension."
—Advertising Age on Long's work in the Apple commercials

"Long struck me as dopey at first, but he grew on me as his shy goofiness began to feel more like a performance and less like a put-on."
—Stephanie Zacharek, salon.com, on Long in Live Free or Die Hard

FINAL JUDGEMENT
Long can actually be funny when he's not playing a smug computer, even in second-rate comedies like Waiting and Accepted. It's time he got a better role than the Mac dude.

Jennifer Aniston

Aniston gets so much tabloid press (and still the occasional "dueling-eyeline" cover with Angelina) that it's easy to forget that the girl hasn't had a movie out all year. Perhaps she's just too busy drinking electrolyte-enhanced water. Aniston not only stars in the SmartWater campaign, shot by Mario Testino, she also invested in the company and had a limited-edition SmartWater label this past summer.

CRITICAL COMMENTS
"We simply cannot put our finger on it, but we haven't thought of Jennifer Anniston [sic] as attractive or sexy since back in the Friends days, when it seemed nothing she wore could cover her permanently erect nipples."
—Steve Hall, AdRants, on Aniston's work in the Smart Water campaign

"Occasionally, a comic spark will issue from one of the stars, who fall back on the tried-and-true sources of their appeal. Ms. Aniston will punctuate a scene with a self-approving tilt of her head and a twitch of her adorable nose."
—A.O. Scott, The New York Times, on Aniston in The Break-Up

FINAL JUDGEMENT
Girl, even when shot by a fancy photog, cheesy ads for bottled water are no way to one-up the Brangelina clan. It's time to use your "permanently erect nipples" and "tried-and-true appeal" for something besides hawking yoga water.

Mikhail Gorbachev

Okay, he's not an actor. He's the former leader of the Soviet Union. His commie days far behind him, Gorbie now appears in ads for Louis Vuitton. He even helped art-direct the shots, choosing remnants of the Berlin Wall as a backdrop. But this isn't the first time old jam-forehead has hawked for the capitalist system: He appeared in Pizza Hut commercials the late 1990s.

CRITICAL COMMENTS
"Of the group [of celebrities featured in the Louis Vuitton campaign], Mr. Gorbachev appears the least comfortable. He is holding on to a door handle as if the bag contained polonium 210."
—Eric Wilson, The New York Times, on Gorbachev in the Louis Vuitton ads

"Although most Russians insist that Gorbachev is utterly irrelevant today, his opinion of Lenin cannot but fascinate, for the two figures bracket the 20th century. Gorbachev was Lenin's heir and, as it turned out, his destroyer."
—David Remnick, The New Yorker, writing on Gorbie's legacy in 1996

FINAL JUDGEMENT
If you can't beat the West, join 'em. We'll give Gorbie a break. He's old, he's out of job, and he was reluctant to participate until Louis Vuitton made a donation to an environmental charity, Green Cross International.

George Bush

That's right, Gorbachev isn't the only national leader who's image has been used to sell pizzas. Two years ago, New Zealand pizza outfit Hell used a picture of Bush to sell pies, alongside the catchy slogan, "Hell. Too good for some evil bastards." After receiving complaints, the ad agency for Hell Pizza removed the billboards. Earlier this summer, Hell received complaints about their recent ads, which featured Adolf Hitler.

CRITICAL COMMENTS
"Once George sees this, it's only a matter of time before a smart bomb finds its way across the globe and through this billboard."
—Steve Hall, AdRants, on the Hell Pizza billboards

"The techniques being used to sell a war in Iraq are familiar PR strategies. The message is developed to resonate with the targeted audiences through the use of focus groups and other types of market research and media monitoring."
—Laura Miller, Center for Media and Democracy, on the Bush Administration's strategy in the run-up to war

FINAL JUDGEMENT
If only Bushie were removed from office as quickly as his pizza billboards were pulled down.