YouTube's tackiest wedding proposals

INDECENT PROPOSAL YouTube's video casanovas make this guy look old-fashioned

If the wedding-industrial complex (helmed by maniacal genius Vera Wang) is responsible for transforming a nation of otherwise sane women into shrieking bridezillas, then blame YouTube for turning prospective grooms into hammy showmen, eager for their 15 minutes of fame.

Proposing via YouTube is the 2007 equivalent of surprising your beloved with a half time proposal on the Jumbotron. But instead of taking home a commemorative foam finger, happy couples receive worldwide humiliation.

We're always fascinated when people share way too much with strangers on the Web, so when the Wall Street Journal reported this summer that there were about 1,800 of these exhibitionist proposal clips on the site, we had to see them and judge for ourselves.

Young man, before you upload that photo montage set to "You're Beautiful" in hopes of wooing your quarry, think twice. There are dozens of losers who've had exactly the same horrifying idea. Below, our assessments of their best, and worst, efforts:

THE BOLLYWOOD IMPRESARIO

We've got to give Vivek credit for writing and producing his own music video, despite some desperately bad rhythm. His dance-like gyrations would drive any woman wild. But the real highlights here include a heart-shaped balloon that stands in for his girlfriend, a self-fashioned "time machine" that looks worryingly like a bomb, and the chorus where he sings backup over himself.

Vivek also makes an impressive seven costume changes throughout the video, ultimately settling on a burgundy button down at around 2:49, when the actual proposal takes place. The final sequence of Vivek grinning as he moves closer and closer to the camera, holding the ring out like a maniac, is haunting, and we're not even on the receiving end.

TECHNICAL PROWESS: 7/10
UNBEARABLE SENSE OF DREAD INFLICTED UPON VIEWER: 6/10

NOT DURING VERONICA MARS!

Plan A was to get an ad sponsored by a jeweler during the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, Rand had to settle for plan F, which was to propose to his girlfriend, Geraldine, by buying commercial time during her favorite CW show, Veronica Mars.

At around :55, Geraldine emits insane dolphin-esque screeches before disintegrating into a highly alarming asthma attack. The duo have a blog about the proposal where Rand and Geraldine take turns describing the fallout from their very public "I do" moment, which drew plenty of local press coverage. Rand may have not been able to compete with the Super Bowl ad giants (or get face time during Gilmore Girls, for that matter) but as a consolation prize, Veronica Mars herself (OMG! Kristen Bell!) sent a bouquet of purple orchids to the happy couple. It's like a fairytale come true!

TECHNICAL PROWESS: 2/10
UNBEARABLE SENSE OF DREAD INFLICTED UPON VIEWER: 5/10