Godless provocateur Christopher Hitchens pledges allegiance to America

Christopher Hitchens turned 58 on April 13. The occasion might typically have passed with little fanfare, but this year, the scruffy British ex-pat had reason to celebrate. Early that day, on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States. It was a doff of the cap to a country he had already called home for more than a quarter century, but it was also a symbolic gesture of solidarity. As everyone knows by now, the reformed Trotskyite resigned from his post at the Nation after 9/11 to assume what has become his unofficial charge: indefatigable defender of the Bush Administration's adventures in Iraq. Application approved!

To be absolutely frank, I don't find writing hard at all. I could in a course of a day perfectly easily write a column that's 1,000 words for Slate and a book review for the 'Sunday Times' of LondonHitchens has always loved a good fight, and his latest literary endeavor, God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything (Twelve, $24.99), is sure to piss off enough readers to satisfy his thirst. Of course, the book is just another stop on Mr. Hitchens's personal journey to hell, which began at age nine, when he became an atheist, and reached a crescendo in 2002, when the Vatican called him to testify against Mother Teresa during her beatification process. Asked in a recent interview if he had ever prayed in his life, he responded, "Probably once for an erection, but not addressed to anyone in particular. Nor completely addressed to my cock."

Radar sat down for lunch with the iconoclast in his Washington, D.C., home a couple of days after he and wife Carol Blue hosted Vanity Fair's White House Correspondents' Dinner after-party. Over a bowl of oatmeal ("I've got high cholesterol," he explained), followed by cigarettes, Scotch, and a plate of thinly-sliced prosciutto, the Hitch gave us his take on piety, fanaticism, and life as a newly minted American.

RADAR: You've said that religion is "the big subject until the end of [your] life." Was it easy then to write God Is Not Great?
HITCHENS: Yes, it's a book I've been writing all my life. I spent a couple of weeks putting up huge pieces of drawing paper, making a diagram of the questions I'd have to answer, and then arranging them in chapters. Basically doing a wall map of the book and then pinning it up next to my word processor. I did it in two days. That was the hard part. It took me five months to write the book. I don't want to make it sound easy, it wasn't. But the hardest thing was getting 30 years of work into a wall map.

To what do you attribute your prolific output?
Well, I find writing recreational. I used to do it to relax when I was a kid. I realized early on that there were a few things that I can do with any skill: write an essay and give a speech. I can do both of those very easily. Nothing to boast about, but I also have an extremely good memory. Still, that's all I have: I can talk, I can write, and I've got a good memory. And I have strong opinions, I suppose. So I just tried getting better at it. I just focused.

All writers go on about how difficult writing is, and of course there's that, because it gets harder when you compare yourself to better people, but to be absolutely frank, I don't find writing hard at all. I could in a course of a day perfectly easily write a column that's 1,000 words for Slate and a book review for the Sunday Times of London, for example.

I am one of the people who knew very, very early in life that they only wanted to do one thing, which is to write. I didn't pick it; it picked me.

When did it pick you?
When I was about 10.

What was the first thing you ever wrote?
A short history of the Napoleonic Wars.

When you were 10?
It's still unfinished, but that was the plan.

What do you read on a daily basis?
I don't read things online. People tell me I should, but I almost never do. I get the New York Times and the Washington Post every day. I quickly read them to find out what other people think the story is. That said, it doesn't take me very long. But I make my own newspaper. People e-mail me from all over the place, and someone will undoubtedly always send me a piece from Iraq or from Turkey or Japan that they thought interesting. I've been having correspondence for a long time with a young Marine in Iraq. I have people who just write to me, and I learn more from what they send than from reading any newspaper. I'm also easy to find. I'm in the phone book and people know it.

You make yourself readily accessible.

Yes. I think it's important. Well, I believe, first, that one should. Because if I were to go appearing on books and on the radio and telling everyone what I think, getting in their face, I ought really, out of politeness, have them get their turn. But they do get a little nutcase ...

As in stalkers?
Yes. I had one just this weekend. Harmless, I think, but you can never be sure. They tend to go away. They get bored and see someone else on another show. There was this mad woman, whom I got rid of finally. She was a nuisance because she rang me nightly, drunk, talking to my voicemail and using it all up so it couldn't take any more messages. She was obsessed with me, but then she would decide when she was drunk that she disapproved of me. She was a sad person. I got rid of her by filing a restraining order and once picking up the phone—and it was her I think expecting my voice mail—and being fantastically unpleasant. Not threatening, but as rude as I knew. I think it gave her a shock. I wouldn't be surprised if she waits two or three years and then comes back. She's like that.

I think anyone whose had any sort of public reputation, even as small as mine, knows by now that there will be something on the Web or something in the ether for people who are mad, because, as we just found out, the culture now presents huge opportunities for people who are maladjusted.

Right, as we saw in the recent case of Seung-Hui Cho. What did you think of the Virginia Tech shooting?
I don't think about it. To me it's a non-event. There will always be a tragedy with some little kid falling down a mineshaft some week. Horrible things will always happen, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. We had a moment of silence at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. But why not for the 116 people who were torn to pieces in Iraq, which does have implications for us, because the people who did that want to do it to everybody? Instead, this little nutcase has state power. I hate it!

When I heard about the Virginia Tech event, I thought, This is horrible, because I knew there would be nothing on the television, in the newspapers, or on the airwaves for weeks. Everyone wants the shooting to be about them, the Russian Federation included. If you look through my window you'll see the Russian Federation has its flag half-mast. What does the Russian Federation have to do with Virginia Tech? Nothing! Nor do I. Nor do you. Though are you Korean?

We had a moment of silence at the White House Correspondents' Dinner [for the Virginia Tech victims]. But why not for the 116 people who were torn to pieces in Iraq?No. Taiwanese.
I thought [mutual friend] Windsor said you were Korean. I'm sorry. Because I was just going to say you don't look it. But you say Taiwanese. That's interesting, because Taiwan's airline is China Airlines, but you don't say Chinese?

No. My parents raised me to think of Taiwan as separate from China.
I know what you mean. I always say I'm English, not British.

But now you can say you're an American as well. Congratulations.
Thank you. You too?

Yes. Naturalized.
Well done!

Thank you. You've lived in this country since 1981. Why did you recently decide to become an American citizen?
Why did I do it? It was a post-September 11th feeling. I realized that I've been living here a long time and that this country, this society, had been pretty welcoming to me. I was just cruising along with a green card and felt like I was cheating on my dues.

And if you want to argue for war, you do it in two ways: One is to argue there is a war, which I think everyone believes, and the other is that we should be fighting in it, which means advocating in public that people go to Iraq or Afghanistan. I felt I probably ought to be a citizen for that.

Now that you're able to vote in the next presidential election, are you going to register for a particular political party?
No. I don't have any party allegiances. Before I could vote, I wrote in a column that I was for the re-election of George Bush, Sr. That was the first time I ever wrote or said in public who I was for. If George Bush, Sr., had that second term, I think we would be living in a better world in lots of ways. One of which would have been, we never would have elected George Bush, Jr. People forget that. People who always vote Democratic don't realize that if they didn't want this George Bush they should have voted for the last. They think of it as zero-sum: You're either an elephant or a donkey. I hate the whole mentality. It produces boring parties and bad politicians. I've never been a supporter of either party in America. My line is that I dislike the Republicans, but I despise the Democrats.

That said, any ideas on who you'll be voting for in the 2008 presidential election?
I couldn't tell you now for whom, except if it was today, if you have everyone who is currently seeking a nomination running for president, I'd vote for Giuliani because of the war. Mrs. Clinton has a good position on the war, too. If she were running against an anti-war Republican, which could happen, if it was Hillary vs. Chuck Hagel, let's say—he's not running, but let's suppose he was—well, then I'd vote for her. Because she's serious about the war—or at least she has to pretend to be. I'm a single-issue voter.

With Giuliani, I also admire what he did in New York. He's proven that he can run and improve things by governing. And the second thing, very important, is that he does not come from a small town, and he cannot run a campaign saying, "Vote for me because I come from a small town." I hope I never have to hear that ever again. Candidates who go on about their small town roots make me sick. The third thing is, of course, with every candidate, you want to know what would they be like when things get really tough. Well, with Giuliani, we sort of know that. He and Tony Blair were the only bright spots on that day [9/11]. So I find it pretty easy making up my mind. It certainly would have to be Giuliani.

But that said, Mr. Giuliani is very obviously not going to be the candidate for the Bible Belt, whereas Mrs. Clinton would love to be if she could, and she is trying her best to be. I would vote for a pro-war, religious person over an anti-war atheist.