In the pros and in the closet: Three gay athletes tell all

LOW FIVE Getting physical is just part of the game

When John Amaechi published his memoir, Man in the Middle, earlier this year, he became the first veteran of the NBA to come out of the proverbial closet. What was more surprising than the fact that it took this long for a (former) pro basketball player to acknowledge being gay was the reaction from some of Amaechi's ex-colleagues. Most famously, the incendiary comments from five-time NBA all-star Tim Hardaway: "I hate gay people." It was a Jackie Robinson-like moment for pro hoops, and as for America's top three sports—basketball, football, and baseball—it was only the sixth time that a former pro athlete admitted to being gay. (No player has yet to come out while still active.)

Recently, while on tour promoting his book, John Amaechi took a time-out to join fellow openly gay athletes Esera Tuaolo (former NFLer) and Billy Bean (former MLBer), for a roundtable discussion on what it's like keeping a secret in the pros.

BASKETBALL DIARIES John Amaechi with Lance Bass, and in his closeted playing days

RADAR: Why does the world go absolutely insane when an athlete comes out of the closet?
John Amaechi: I think because the stereotypes around sports and the stereotypes around gay people are so opposite. And that creates a disjoint—people can't imagine that the two things can coexist peacefully in one body.
Esera Tuaolo: Also, there's just not a lot of us out there.
Billy Bean: And if you are a jock and you want to be in sports, you learn to act like everyone else behaves, you learn to act straight.

"There are more gay players out there, but by the time you get to the big leagues in any sport you're a pretty savvy survivor, so you know how to hide your secret"Esera, you suddenly started getting hate-mail after John Amaechi's book came out.
TUAOLO: Yes. When John came out, I was out there speaking on his behalf and welcoming and supporting him in every way. The hateful mail was from people thinking that I wanted to sissify professional sports. Calling us faggots and homos. I'm sick and tired of people thinking that we are a weak community. And then, when Tim Hardaway lashed out against John—I couldn't understand. I could see maybe from a Caucasian person, but for an African-American person to have such hateful words ...

John, I read somewhere that you and Tim Hardaway are going to be doing something on TV together?
AMAECHI: There's an enduring rumor out there that we're going to do Oprah together.

My hope was that it was going to include a no-holds-barred wrestling match.
AMAECHI In terms of basketball, he can beat me soundly, but in terms of wrestling, I think I've got him.
TUAOLO: Believe me, dude, you'll have some backing.

John, what is the strangest question you've been asked on this book tour?
AMAECHI: The questions have actually been pretty insightful from the groups of people who have shown up. I've been really pleased with that. I do get a lot of the locker-room questions, but mostly from the media. Questions about how when you're in the locker room with a lot of ostensibly fit men ... they can't imagine how I could restrain myself. This kind of ignorant questioning is probably the most frustrating for me, the idea that I can't tell the difference between a work environment and a social environment.

Billy, what's the oddest question you've ever been asked in an interview?
BEAN: I was actually once asked if I was a top or a bottom on a radio show, and that was the first time that I think I was embarrassed in public. When you become public, when you "come out," when you invite the public into your private life, there is a sense that you deserve to be asked that question.