The Year in Review
That's So 2006
The year in monsters and regrettable trends
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REGRETS, WE'VE HAD A FEW Gibson, Richie, Foley, and O'Donnell
While you're thinking that over and staring into your mylar mirror, we've rounded up a year-end collection of scary monsters and regrettable trends that more pointedly capture the year that was. Our monsters weren't on a par with, say, Pol Pot or Donald Rumsfeld, but they were nonetheless creepy cretins who might not have received the intense media scrutiny their ghastly actions deserved. And our regrettable trends also focus on alarming behavior that, at the end of the day—and the end of the year—will forever be remembered as sooooo 2006.
Note to cyborg Michael Ian Black [don't open until Christmas 2016, when you do your 10-year look back at 2006]: You're welcome!
THIN AND BONES Zoe and Richie es-chewed the fat
After years of proclamations of "The eighties are back!" the anorexia revival of 2006 put the final cherry on top, ate it, and then barfed it right back up. The trendsetter responsible for this bony is beautiful movement was none other than celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe. Reputed to be the David Koresh of the skinny set, Zoe maintains a roster of celebrity clients including Mischa Barton, Lindsay Lohan, Keira Knightley, and (until last month) Nicole Richie under her proverbial 22-inch belt. Under her fashion preaching, Anorexia: Part Deux swept red carpets from coast-to-coast, proclaiming to the world (and impressionable young girls) that too thin was in. Clingy dresses and oversized Bardot-like sunglasses—signature accoutrements of her so-called Zoebots—only exaggerated the skeletal style. For a meager $6,000 a day clients received her expert primping advice and quickly emerged looking so gaunt and malnourished that it's surprising Madonna didn't offer to adopt them. Zoe denied allegations that she—a tawny toothpick herself—gave her roster equine asthma medication as a quick-fix dieting solution. In mid-November, just in time for Thanksgiving feasting, an on-the-wagon Richie fired the queen of lean.
Related: Hollywood, Madonna, Media, Nicole Richie, Politics, Rachel Zoe, Style, The Year in Review
Posted by: jenkins on December 22, 2006 11:21 AM
Well said, Jenkins. I'm going to heed your call. Who'll join me? Here goes: I LOVE anorexics (duh, better than fatsos); gay republicans? (much more interesting than your garden variety PC gay), Britney's vag? yes, please; Screech! welcome back to relevance; anti-Semtism--you jews have gotten a pass for way too long and, while we're at it, APOCALYPTO is almost as good, nay, as GREAT as ROCKY VI. Man, that felt good. There it is. Do your worst you cynical fuck blog nerds. Bring it.
Posted by: discount on December 22, 2006 11:43 AM
I know why your mad ( and sarcastic ) I spelled cynical wrong. or maybe I did that on purpose ... no , it was a spelling error . Its still not funny nor is your goofy rant . Your just spewing shit youve heard . Re-read this , I sound retarded. See how I covered myself ? Mock and mock and even mock what you mock . Boom . Whew , safe ....not! ... (got me , and you , burn chicken !)
Posted by: jenkins on December 22, 2006 1:44 PM
and by the way , you are the coolest dude I've ever encountered . And you deserve happiness ...and hot lovin'...
Posted by: jenkins on December 22, 2006 1:52 PM
Thanks you, Jenkins. Perhaps I was too harsh in my initial sarcastic response. Please accept my apologies.
Posted by: discount on December 22, 2006 2:22 PM
dorks.
Posted by: dvora on December 26, 2006 3:39 PM
I never comment on these sites. I read Radar because it is funny and entertaining but I had to say something after reading this article.
So let me get this straight: because Jimmy Carter wrote a book that stuck up for occupied Palestinians, he is considered an anti-semite???? How so? First of all, Palestinians are semites, if you want to get technical. But I guess we (yes, I am Palestinian) don't matter. That has been made ABUNDANTLY clear. Jimmy Carter is the engineer of the 1978 Camp David Accords and 2002 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. He obviously is educated on the situation. The man is a humanitarian; he is not a hateful person. Most people do not understand what Palestinians have been through. To criticize Israel is not anti-semitic. It is a country, just like any other country and has its problems. Palestinians are occupied by Israel and occupation is inherently oppressive. I think it is ridiculous that criticizing Israeli occupation is somehow equated with anti-semitism. Anti-semitism is irrational hate of jews and that is obviously wrong. Sticking up for people that are oppressed is not anti-semitism. I don't know why I am wasting my time writing this because people will believe what they want to but I had to speak up.
Posted by: hanimcban on December 27, 2006 11:53 AM
I'm glad to see that the democracy of the interwebs has indeed created a utopia in which the former clamor of the crowd has been replaced by...props to the new Rocky movie and an irrelevant defense of Jimmy Carter. Although boxing, peanut farming, anti-Semitism and anorexia ARE all parts of a balanced diet.
Posted by: happyaccident on December 28, 2006 10:08 AM
This just isn't funny . I'm not offended by any of it it , but its not interesting or funny . What I keep wondering is , does anyone have the guts to say they like ANYTHING anymore ? Like for instance , I cant wait to see the next Rocky movie . That automatically makes me uncool , but I have a suspiscion that many people who loved the Rocky movies as much as I did feel the same way , but are afraid to be torn apart by synical fuck blog nerds to really enjoy their excitement . Now they pretend to see it to critique it . It may suck , but it might be good . These people wont tell us ...they are afraid . I'm almost done with all this useless ... information .