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Very Bad Toys

(continued)

8. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun

images/2006/12/Derringer-Belt-Gun.jpg
CROTCH ROCKET That's not the kind of pelvic thrust Suzy had in mind
Some kids had belt buckles. Others had cap guns. Only the lucky ones had the Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun, a two-in-one combo that took care of all your pants-securing needs with the option every 10-year-old dreams of: the ability to shoot caps at groin level.

One Bat Masterson enthusiast, identified as "Tim from Shoreview, Maine" on nostalgia website boomberbaby.com, remembers, "When you stuck out your stomach, putting pressure on the buckle, a small gun would pop out and fire a cap." A gut-busting meal, in that case, could lead to a serious friendly-fire mishap.

According to SafeKids USA, "Caps can be ignited by friction and cause serious burns." Every young boy needs to learn the valuable lesson of always protecting his nether regions, with force if necessary, but given the positioning of the Derringer, the owner's greatest enemy might have actually been puberty.

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