How can Arrested Development's Bluth family get more dysfunctional? By hiring Chachi to replace Fonzie

Thirty-four years in show business has made Scott Baio a little ... weird. He comes off as a bit fed up, a little paranoid—even entitled. In other words he's a perfect addition to the hilariously dysfunctional Bluth family on Arrested Development. Baio joined the cast on Monday as overpriced TV-ad attorney Bob Loblaw (say it out loud and you'll get it), which might be the funniest character name since Dick Butkus.

We wanted to talk to Baio, now 45, about Bob Loblaw, about the show, and about his legendary status as a master swordsman with Hollywood's hottest ladies. Since we always follow the proper protocol here at Radar, we e-mailed Baio's representatives. In no time at all, Scott himself called us out of the blue. That's his MO, he says: the element of surprise. Usually publicists screen interview requests, making sure to grant only those that will portray their clients in a positive light. Scott Baio, apparently, is looking out for Scott Baio. And although it was never our intent to talk politics with Chachi, he spent a healthy amount of time telling us how tired he was of that topic. If Bob Loblaw is half the character that Scott Baio is, he’s going to turn Arrested Development into appointment TV.

SCOTT BAIO: So I was looking at your website, and there seems to be a lot of politics. So I gotta ask, what’s your slant?

RADAR: I would say ridiculing anyone who acts absurd. Possibly coming down on the left. Why?
I don’t know. I’m just...so fucking tired of it. So tired of the bashing. Tired of it. It’s just getting old and boring.

You’ve suffered some of that, huh?
What do you mean?

Well, people have given you a hard time over the years, haven’t they?
About what?

About being Chachi, about sleeping with Pamela Anderson and God knows who else. You know, for being a player, for being Charles in Charge.
No, no, no, I meant politically.

Oh, well, like, bashing what?
The president and politicians. And it seems like that’s what you’re doing, unless I’m wrong. I’m just curious now, Tyler. Are you like the Enquirer?

We share a certain celebrity curiosity, an investigative tendency, but we’re not a supermarket tabloid, if that’s what you’re asking.
Okay, let me ask you something, are you guys president-bashing guys?

He makes it tough not to these days. But Radar tends to balance the political coverage with pop culture and entertainment. That answer it for you?
Yeah.

Well, I didn't actually intend to talk politics.
It's just, you know, quite honestly ... all of this shit they're printing, it's so boring.

Okay, Scott, then let's stay away from politics.
Oh, why? Were you going to ask me about politics?

No. Frankly, I can't believe we've talked about it this much. I called to talk to you about Arrested Development, about Scott Baio!
Oh, yeah, okay. Okay, yeah, I got the e-mail. Go ahead.

Okay. Did you find Bob Loblaw as hilarious as we did when you heard the name?
Well, I didn't get it right away. I have a certain accent [editor's note: found in Italian delis throughout New York] that didn't afford me that joke. It was Lahb-loo-ah to me, not Lah-blah. It becomes Bah-blah-blah when you say it right.

Describe this character.
Very simply he’s the most expensive attorney in the country, and he’s, like, all business, no B.S. I don’t know where they’re taking it, ’because they don’t know where they’re taking it, yet. Somehow, I think I get involved romantically on the show.

Which seems to be a Baioesque theme. I mean, you’ve made the party scene, right?
What’s the party scene?

Hooking up with a bunch of chicks. You might have heard you have a bit of a reputation for that. Is even half of that true?
Well, give me an example.

Pamela Anderson.
Yeah. That’s true. Of course it’s true. Is half of it true, sure. Probably more than half of what’s out there is true.

Is it like the sexual version of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” with you?
Probably.

Does that hurt or help your career?
In a meeting it’s certainly the topic of conversation. If you want to compare it to me having sex on video—that shit only seems to help people. It’s not something I’m proud or embarrassed of. It’s just something I did. It was fun. Do you blame any guy in his prime of life on television doing that? When you’re on television all you think about is, “Hey, how you doin’? What’s your name?”

Nicole Eggert?
No, Nicole Eggert’s not true.

Nicollette Sheridan?
The Nicollette thing is true.

Brooke Shields?
No, she was just my friend forever. I’ve know her since I was, probably, 18.

Heather Locklear?
Yeah. That’s true. Great girl. Great girl.

Natalie Raitano, from V.I.P.?
Who’s that? If you start asking me obscure names, I have to say no. ’Cause I don’t know who these people are. I mean, probably, but I don’t know. But so far, you’re batting about .600. Get back to Arrested Development.

Right. Jeffrey Tambor: a pain in the ass?
He’s fantastic to be around. I don’t know who you’re talking to. Was it an actor? Here’s my take on Jeffrey: He’s very smart. He’s very dry. And he’s very, very funny. And I enjoy his company very, very much, along with everybody else on the show.

How’d you get chosen?
I ran into [writer-producer] Jim Vallely at a bar. I said, “Hey, Jim, I don’t really want anything—any money. But when you go into Jessica Walter’s bedroom, and she wakes up in the morning, I want to be lying next to her. I don’t want to say anything. Don’t even mention me.” And he looked at me, and said, “Hmm.” A couple of weeks later he called me and asked if I wanted to play this attorney. I said, “Yeah, okay.”

So you’re replacing, uh...
I’m replacing Henry [Winkler].

I was going to say Fonzie. There’s no Fonzie-Chachi battle brewing, is there?
No, they called me. I had nothing to do with any of this. Henry had called me after he left and found out that I was doing this and said, “Have good time. They’re fun people.” And I said, “Yeah, I know most of them already.” So he was like, “Good, you’ll have a ball.” So far it’s been actually quite fun. But I know them all. I’ve known Jason forever. I’ve know Portia for a really long time. I’ve know Jessica since the early ’80s. I’ve known Jim Vallely.

How long have you been in show business?
Since I was nine.

Child actors kind of get screwed up. How’d you dodge that?
I was never a real child actor, and I don’t know where that sort of stuff about child actors all came from.

Todd Bridges, mostly.
Okay, from 15 to 37 I was on television. So I guess I had three years of being a child actor. From nine to 15, I was a little maniac doing commercials. People say that to me, but, with all due respect, I don’t get the child actor thing, ’cause I wasn’t really one. I wasn’t like Todd.

What’s next for you, The Surreal Life, a reality show?
No. I just think it’s very indulgent, self-serving. It’s just not what I want to do with my life. I don’t want to be that guy. I don’t have to be that guy. I know this is a cyclical business, and I’m not going to do something that’s going to hurt my future work. Plus, I just hate those shows. I can’t comment on why anyone else would do it. I just don’t know.

What’s your favorite Bob Loblaw line?
There was a commercial I got to do—you know those law commercials? I think the opening line is, “Why should you go to jail for a crime that someone else noticed?”

Scott, that’s it. See, no politics.
Good.

Arrested Development airs Monday nights at 8 p.m. (7 p.m. Central) on Fox.

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