This Sunday, MTV will lure celebs to Miami with boatloads of swag. How many water buffaloes can fit in those gift bags?

This Sunday at the MTV Video Music Awards in Miami there will be a few things we can rely on happening. Diddy will host, Shakira will shake, and scores of celebrities will walk away with a ton of swag. The VMAs join a list of 13,747 (by our rough estimate) award shows that will take place this year, and while not every celebrity will win a statuette, no celebrity will go home empty-handed. Not for nothing is Hollywood called the most giving community on earth; the loot in the Emmy bag alone tips the register at $30,000. A lot of people might not appreciate how generous that is. Especially people so selfish that they don’t even own a television on which to watch award shows, or perhaps even a house in which to put a television. To translate party swag into terms those people can understand, Radar Online sifted through the contents of another MTV goody bag—this one from June's Movie Awards—and figured out what its contents could buy from two popular charity catalogs, Good Gifts and Heifer International.

• Two bottles of José Cuervo Reserva de la Familia ($200) = A llama to produce wool for a Bolivian family


• Two pairs of retro New Balance sneakers ($140) = Seven flocks of baby chicks to improve nutrition in Papua New Guinea


• Twelve cases of Dos Equis, delivered ($336) = 11 beehives to help a Mexican family start a business


• A six-month bicoastal membership to the Sports Club/L.A. ($2,250) = One library in India


• Two vintage Disney T-shirts ($150) = A goat to sustain a Romanian family


• One Nan & Co. Feng Shui Jewelry silver pendant ($395) = 18 rabbits for a family in China


• A two-night stay at Pueblo Bonito Pacifica Holistic Retreat & Spa ($780) = Three water buffalo to help a Filipino family increase rice production


• One Blockbuster Online membership ($360) = Three sheep to help a family in the U.S. produce wool


• One Americana Couture crystallized T-shirt ($49) = Two flocks of geese for a family in Ghana


• One Swarovski crystal-studded Dell Pocket DJ case  ($250) = Two pigs for a family in the Dominican Republic


• A pair of Stitch’s Jeans ($244) = 36 ducks for families in Thailand


• One Dell Pocket DJ ($179) = A dozen pairs of shoes for children in Zambia, Zimbabwe, or Ghana


• One Humax DVD recorder with TiVo service ($400) = Preservation of eight acres of Patagonian coastline


• One Plank Designs yoga mat and tote ($310) = Five bicycles for Ethiopian midwives


• Two-week use of 2006 Pontiac Solstice ($960) = Equipment for eight plumbers in Tanzania, Uganda, Sierra Leone, Mozambique, or Zimbabwe


• One Swiss Legend “Build Your Own Watch” ($146.25) = One boat for South Indian fishermen


• One pair Initium sunglasses ($270) = A solar-powered streetlamp for an Indian village


• One Knot2Much2Ask bracelet ($125) = Dowries for three African orphans


• One Missoni floral print hat ($264) = One camel for African nomads


• One Whirly Girls necklace and gift certificate ($300) = One latrine for an African village

Photo: Heifer International