'Lucky Boy' Who Got 'A Well Deserved Spanking': Read ALL The Explicit Messages Jodi Arias Sent To Murdered Ex

Sweet and loving or toxic and deranged?

It's the question trial watchers have been asking after watching marathon testimony and pouring over exhibit after exhibit in the Jodi Arias

murder trial in Phoenix, Arizona. Some of the most graphic pieces of evidence presented to the court have been text messages and letters between the 32-year-old Californian woman and Travis Alexander, the man she killed in June 2008. Arias is claiming she murdered him in self-defense.

The missives offer a startling insight into the pair's dysfunctional relationship, and RadarOnline.com is publishing some of the most explosive messages.

Among the X-rated texts to Alexander, a devout Mormon, before she butchered him to death are promises she'd give him, who she described as "lucky boy," a "well deserved spanking" and a "pounding."

Other crude responses from Arias included describing herself as a sex slave, who liked to "rejoice in being a wh*re who’s sole purpose in life is to be mine to have animalistic sex with."

GRAPHIC PHOTOS: New Crime Scene Images Revealed In Jodi Arias Murder Trial

In more romantic messages, however, Arias wrote in her diary that, "I love Travis Victor Alexander so completely that I don't know any other way to be."

The most chilling entry came after his grisly death on June 4, 2008, when she lied to herself!

She wrote, "Travis is dead. What happened?!? Travis, what is this?"

The trial continues as it approaches a fourth month; be sure to stay on RadarOnline.com for gavel-to-gavel updates and our live daily stream.