Your tip
RadarOnlineRadarOnline
BREAKING NEWS

Charlie Sheen: ‘You Can’t Hurt Me… I Can’t Even Hurt Me’

//charlie sheen roast

Sep. 20 2011, Published 11:00 a.m. ET

Link to FacebookShare to XShare to Email

By Adam S. Levy - RadarOnline.com Staff Writer

After taking an unprecedented amount of abuse at his Comedy Central roast that aired Monday, Charlie Sheen picked himself up, took the mic with swagger and delivered a heartfelt speech letting the audience know he’s still in the game.

"Wow, what a night -- until tonight, I never realized how f***ed up I was," Sheen said. "All this time I thought I was just having fun. The thing is once again, I come out unscathed.

Article continues below advertisement

"You can't hurt me -- hell, I can't even hurt me! Drugs couldn't kill me. Sex couldn't kill me. The press couldn't kill me. Two and a Half Men couldn't kill me. Did you really think your little jokes were going to kill me? I'm done with the winning cause I've already won.

"This roast may be over, but I'm Charlie Sheen. In here burns an internal fire. I just have to remember to keep it away from a crack pipe."

While Charlie's ex-wife Brooke Mueller was in attendance -- laughing at many jokes at her expense -- the rest of Sheen's family, including father Martin, brother Emilio Estevez and ex-wife Denise Richards, did not show up for the brutal comedy melee.

Watch the video on RadarOnline.com

Instead, stars like Private Practice star Kate Walsh, Mike Tyson, William Shatner, Steve-O and a host of comics filled the dais to roast the mercurial TV star at the event, pummeling Sheen with a series of no-holds-barred digs aimed at his hard-partying lifestyle, peppered with pointed barbs referencing his history of drug abuse, domestic violence and ill-fated career moves.

MORE ON:
Charlie Sheen
Article continues below advertisement

Among the outrageous punchlines of the evening:

Walsh: “For some reason, you’re able to defy science and medicine and continue to survive. I’ll pencil you in for your relapse next week.”

Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane: Mueller’s “here voluntarily -- no one put a knife to her throat."

The Roastmaster General Jeffrey Ross: "Charlie if you're winning, this must not be a child custody hearing!"

Ross on Mueller: “She’s not very bright, unless Charlie’s throwing a lamp at her!”

radar_embed service=5min.com src=" http://pshared.5min.com/Scripts/PlayerSeed.js?sid=1126&width=486&height=412&playList=517713154&sequential=1&shuffle=0"

RELATED STORIES:

Seth MacFarlane Reads Charlie Sheen ‘Obituary’ During Comedy Roast

Alec Baldwin Rips Fox And News Corp. After Emmys Snafu

Charlie Sheen Presents At The Emmy's; Gives Heartfelt Message To 'Two And A Half Men' Cast

Advertisement

DAILY. BREAKING. CELEBRITY NEWS. ALL FREE.

Opt-out of personalized ads

© Copyright 2024 RADAR ONLINE™️. A DIVISION OF EMPIRE MEDIA GROUP INC. RADAR ONLINE is a registered trademark. All rights reserved. Registration on or use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Cookies Policy. People may receive compensation for some links to products and services. Offers may be subject to change without notice.