Kate Say She Misses The Old Jon, Cries Several Times During Interview

Kate Gosselin broke down several times while discussing her divorce and family Monday night in a one hour TLC special titled Kate’s Story.

PHOTOS: Kate Gosselin Runs Errands

In the interview with Today Show correspondent Natalie Morales a tearful Kate opened up about her messy divorce from Jon, not being able to trust people close to her and how she has sleepless nights wondering if she is making the right decisions in life.

Other Interview highlights included Kate revealing the tension with her parents and admitting part of her still loves Jon while answering questions about Hailey Glassman and owning up to being too tough on Jon at times during their marriage.

Kate Gets Pulled Over By The Cops

Kate also detailed how the divorce has been difficult on the kids, relaying that while Mady said, “I’m not surprised” when her parents told her they were splitting up, Cara crumbled herself into a ball and cried.

In an unexpected twist, Kate revealed she barely speaks to her parents and relies mainly on email communication with them. She also said she had a strict upbringing and that a lot of her childhood wasn’t happy. Hinting at much deeper problems than she discussed, Kate said: “There’s definitely something missing when you don’t have supportive parents in your life.”

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Kate admitted she had been hard on Jon at times during the marriage, as the infamous clip played of her telling him to stop breathing so loudly.” I was wrong to treat him that way,” she said.

And although Kate said she doesn’t regret doing the show, she does regret the fame that has come along with it. The Reality Mom said she feels like she can’t turn off her life and railed against several stories from print magazines..

Jon Gosselin Tweets That He Misses Hailey

Addressing the issue of who ended the marriage, Kate said it was a mutual decision and that both she and Jon realized their goals and visions had changed. The closest thing to an “Ah Ha!” moment signifying the end came when Kate was returning from a trip. “I was on a plane coming home from somewhere and I remember thinking we’re not going to recover from this.” She added: “At the end of the day I looked at him and he looked at me and we were completely different people.”

Hailey Glassman Tweets About Her Break-Up With Jon

Kate vehemently denied any infidelity on her behalf, and said that the rumors she was having an affair with her bodyguard were unthinkable to her and made her sick. She saidt Jon’s relationship with Hailey Glassman was just another one of the things she’s having to deal with.

PHOTOS: In Happier Times Jon And Hailey Kiss

And answering the question does she still love Jon, Kate said,. “A part of me always will.  It’s hard to be married to somebody for 10 years and try to say, No I don’t love them anymore.”

Despite those sentiments it was apparent from Kate’s comments that anger is a significant part of her current relationship with Jon, although they still communicate by text and sometimes by phone. And while she cried several times during the interview, Kate also admitted she still has her famous meltdowns.

PHOTOS: Jon Gosselin Visits Synagogue To Apologize For His Behavior

The warm feeling she expressed for Jon were balanced by other comments, as when she addressed his headline-making behavior and said he’s “not the person that I knew.”

She also said that the couple’s finances – the subject of recent court action – were now straightened out and the kids have a separate account that she set up with money earned from the TLC show.

VIDEO: Kate Says Jon Is Behaving Like A 15-Year-Old

The future? Kate wants the show to go on. But with Jon withholding his permission for filming the kids, that’s unlikely and Kate said she hoped to do another show with TLC.

She denied that the show had harmed her children in any way and summed up the experience by saying: “When I think of the show Jon & Kate Plus 8, it’s fond memories, sad goodbyes.”

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